What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Got Any Wine? June 1, 2015

I love my job. I really, truly love my job. I love being in Alaska. I love getting to perform. But damn, every once in a while you want to punch a patron in the taint.

And yes, I just said taint.

A few days ago, we had a group come into the theatre while I was bartending. We have a very limited selection, but most people can find something within our means to keep them happy.

But these people wanted, nay needed, sauvignon blanc. We don’t have sauvignon blanc. Our only white wine is chardonnay.

So, I told the first man who came asking, “I’m sorry. Our only white wine is chardonnay.”

Man: “So, what wine do you have then?”

Me: “We have cabernet sauvignon—“

Man: “That’s a red.”

Me: “Yes, we have cabernet sauvignon and merlot for red, and our blush is white zinfandel.”

Man: “I’d like a savingnon blanc.”

Frustrated me: “I’m sorry sir, but we only have chardonnay .”

Man: “ So, no sauvignon blanc.”

Me thinking I might finally have gotten through to him: “No, my only white is chardonnay.”

Man: “So your only white is chardonnay. I’ll have a merlot.”

Insert facepalm.

Next man in line who has been listening to this whole freaking conversation: “Can I get a sauvignon blanc?” (more…)


Chris’s Corner of Conundrums and Comprehension – Episode One: Dinner Theatre May 13, 2015

Filed under: Myths and Legends — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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Welcome one and all to Chris’s Corner of Conundrums and Comprehension. This is my first of what will eventually be multiple guest posts on lifebeyondexaggeration.

Megan and I are currently working in Alaska for a dinner theatre show in which we portray actual, historical figures. Well, I portray Harry Karstens, first superintendent of Denali National Park, and Megan plays a showgirl based on real-life roadhouse showgirls who existed during the time of the gold strike on the Klondike and in Alaska.

I say all of that to say this: wouldn’t it be great if you could go to restaurants where your servers portrayed (my new favorite word apparently) characters from your favorite books/television shows? For instance, imagine a Game of Thrones-themed restaurant. Would you ever trust a beverage delivered to you by Olenna Tyrell? How long would it take to get an answer about dinner and drink specials from Hodor? (more…)


Asian Only June 24, 2013

Filed under: Tales of Humanity's Imperfections — meganorussell @ 8:05 am
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One afternoon while I was working in Alaska I was filling in at the hostess stand at my restaurant while the hostess ate her lunch. A woman walked in with her husband, and he very nervously asked to see a menu.

After they looked at the menu for a moment the wife said in the worst, I’m-from-the-mid-west-but-I’m-pretending-that-I’m-british-and-posh accent, “No, this won’t do.” (more…)