I have this strange mistrust of doctors. It’s not that I think they’re trying to wipe us all out by spreading some horrible plague. I just recognize that, like the rest of us, not all of them are good at their jobs.
It all started when I was super young. I had this tiny little plantar wart in my toe. It really wasn’t a huge deal, but you’ve got to get those things taken care of, so my mother dragged me to the pediatrician. I was promised by the nurse, the doctor, my own mother even, that it would be a quick and practically painless thing. I’d feel a little stick, my toe would go numb, and then it would be done and I could eat tons of ice cream.
I don’t know why, but for some reason my mother wasn’t in the room with me when they were numbing my toe. Maybe she was scared she’d faint… I have no clue.
Anyway, I’m lying stomach-first on this table. The doctor has the needle and is going to inject my big toe. The nurse is flirting with the doctor. I feel the needle go into my toe, but it doesn’t stop. The doctor is chatting with the nurse and just keeps pushing the needle farther in!
Naturally, I do what any child would do, and kick the doctor right in the crotch. (more…)