What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

A List of Horrors June 15, 2016

There are no words that haven’t been said since last Sunday. I don’t think I have anything new or inspiring to contribute. So I’ll tell you a story instead.

When I was about sixteen, I did a lot of work with a murder mystery dinner theatre company. I played a drug dealer and sold bag of oregano to guests to raise money for charity. I was a super genius who invented a brain in a box. It was a great time.

There was one show I did with them – I think it might have been the last production I was in – where we were performing on a college campus instead of in a schnazzy, rich people bar. It didn’t really change the show that much. The food was chicken fingers, and the table clothes were gross, but whatever. I honestly don’t even remember what the show was about or what my character did. I remember that there was a coffin on stage right from the beginning, it was a very bloody show, and the director added a full company rap at the end instead of typical bows.

The rap started off normal enough, talking about the show and how we hoped they had enjoyed it, the blood and gore of it all. But then it changed, asking the audience why they thought our gore was funny when there were so many terrible things happening in the real world. Was our humor making the real violence seem less awful? And then we listed names of places. I don’t remember any of them but the last. Littleton, Colorado. (more…)


A Heated Hibernation May 9, 2016

The time has come my friends. Since I’m not heading back up to Alaska this year, it’s time for me to crawl into my air-conditioned hidey-hole and wait out the Florida summer. I’m making my last pilgrimage to Orlando this summer, and then that’s it. I will be hiding until the fall.

It’s not just the overwhelming heat that makes me wonder if someone is literally trying to melt my bones; it’s not the sun that gives me a fun rash if I let it touch me for too long. It’s not the Orlando crowds that make even the Space Ship Earth line two hours long. I could even deal with the stingrays that stab your feet if you accidentally scare them. It’s more the sweaty combination of all those things mixed with the inexplicable hatred of having my feet get too hot.

But there are plenty of amazing inside activities I can do. I’ll just pretend it’s winter up north. I’ll curl up under the AC unit and binge on Netflix. I’ll finally learn how to play Rook and Pinochle. I can do a puzzle, read books, write books even. I’m even taking a break from the heat to head up north and do some serious camping. (I’m finally climbing Cadillac Mountain, y’all!)

I know I’m doing it in the wrong direction, but this is how my clock works. Hibernation is upon us. As John Snow says: Summer is coming.


Dolphin Domination December 1, 2014

When I was in third grade, my parents took me on an epic road trip to Orlando. Besides driving through a blizzard and discovering my lifelong love of Pluto, we also went to SeaWorld. I love it there. I got to see the sea lions and the whales. Since my sister and I were some of the few kids there that snowy winter, we got to play the water gun race arcade game. And since there was always a winner and only the two of us playing, we got the best stuffed dolphin and whale. They were huge, and I loved them!

But the best part was getting to feed the dolphins. (more…)


Hanging Out in the Haunted House October 28, 2013

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 8:05 am
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My husband’s favorite holiday is Halloween. It’s a little weird. But I love him, so I deal with it. Every year, we try to find some really fun, exciting Halloween thing to do. Sometimes it’s a local haunted house, sometimes it’s scaring the pee out of small children at his parent’s house. But one year, we managed to make it to Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios in Orlando. This place is like the holy grail of pooping yourself in fear. (more…)