lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Weight Problem April 6, 2015

When I went to audition for the college I attended, it was quite the ordeal. And not just because I had to fly cross-country all by myself or because I was auditioning for one of the best schools in the country. The school had arranged for me to stay with two dance majors while I auditioned. My mother and I baked cookies for the girls as a thank you. The looks on their faces should have been enough to warn me away. They looked at my cookies like I had brought demon spawn into their room. Then there was a little bit of moaning before they each took a bite of a cookie and shoved the rest on a high shelf out of sight and easy reach.

The next day was the audition. (more…)

 

Mission Impossible: Dorm Style (Rated PG) April 4, 2015

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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The dorm I lived in freshman year of college was as close to a penitentiary as you can get while paying private school tuition. There were no windows that opened. (I’ll tell you that story sometime.) There were guards at the doors, and there was an evil woman named Mary who could project her voice into your room at two in the morning if the demon spirit moved her. There was also a strict ban on boys outside of business hours.

Needless to say, the ban did not go over too well with a bunch of hormonal college freshman. There were a few boys sneaking in dressed as girls. There were a few boys who came in legally and stayed illegally, causing dorm-wide manhunts. And there was one college freshman boy who went above and beyond in search of boobies. (more…)

 

I Can’t Hear the Bells February 11, 2015

I grew up next to a fire department. Besides getting a great education in strippers (they had lots of bachelor parties), I also heard lots and lots of fire sirens. And after hearing the same sound over and over for years and years, I stopped being able to hear that particular sound. Not like I’m deaf, but my mind just doesn’t process it as a thing.

It really is kind of nice when I’m at home. The sirens don’t wake me up during the night or make me drop my milk when they start suddenly. But it was a really big problem when I went to college in Oklahoma City.

I was terrified of tornados, but my roommates assured me that if a tornado were coming, there would be sirens to warn me. Not to mention the whole deathly looking sky and fleeing people scattering for shelter. I took those to all be surefire signs that it was time to panic. But then one day I was walking to class in a little piddly rain (it wasn’t bad, just a little inconvenient) when suddenly the people around me started to run.

(more…)

 

Stuck on You (Or The Super Glue Saga) December 13, 2014

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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I’m not allowed to play with super glue. I know you’re probably all like, but Megan, you’re a grown woman who pays her bills and just bought a shiny new bike. Surely using super glue is within your grasp. You’d think so, but it’s not.

When I was in college, I was sitting in my dorm room sewing my pointe shoes. After you sew the ribbons on, it’s a good idea to put fray check on the ends of the ribbons to keep them nice. Well, the school store didn’t sell fray check, so I bought some super glue. I tried to cut a little bit off the end of the bottle, but it ended up being a gaping hole. So when I squeezed the tube, admittedly a bit harder than I should have, all the stinking glue came out on my hands. (more…)

 

An O’Russell Always Pays Her Debts September 27, 2014

I always hear about all my friends having problems with their student loan companies. Some of the problems are their own fault. If you don’t pay, they comin’ after you. And some are problems with the companies themselves. Not being able to get a hold of customer service, unachievable payment plans, and complicated billing systems that make it nigh on impossible to figure out what you owe.

I could go on a rant about the ridiculous price of a college education and the offensive nature of student loan interest rates versus corporate interest rates. But I was a dance major, not a finance major (if that’s even a thing), and this blog isn’t for that sort of thing anyway. (more…)

 

The Scandalous Engagement January 27, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 8:30 pm
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When my husband proposed to me in college, we were already living together. Scandalous, I know. We had an apartment that we shared with a friend from school. When I first moved in with my husband, there were all kinds of rumors about me living with the person I was dating, but they all knew I had a female roommate since she was in the dance department with me. So naturally, they thought that I was a lesbian. I’m fine with being thought a lesbian. I’m just not one. (more…)

 

Breaking Bad: Kitten Style December 3, 2013

Filed under: Animal Antics — meganorussell @ 9:30 am
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I’ve lived some pretty sketchy places.  Most people would probably say, “Of course you have. You lived in the Bronx.” But honestly, the Bronx wasn’t bad at all. I always felt safe there. The only place I have ever lived that I really thought smelled a little murdery on a daily basis was my apartment in Oklahoma City senior year of college. (more…)