lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

An Awkward Kiss February 13, 2017

When I was in college as a dance major, I had to take two semesters of acting. It didn’t bother me. I was totally comfortable with it. I had done plays and Shakespeare before, unlike a lot of the dance majors, so it was a fun class for me. Trying new techniques, doing great scene work, kissing random guys.

Okay, so the kissing bit was weird. And not because I was already dating my now husband at the time. We’re both performers, it sort of comes with the territory. Like taking your clothes off in front of other people, and running around in your underpants for money. The class kissing was weird because not all the kissers were good.

There was this one guy, who was very sweet, and I would feel bad writing about him except, well, who knows they’re a bad kisser? How would he ever figure out I was blogging about his inability to press his lips to another humans in an appealing fashion?

Anyway, he wasn’t like a no-lip, where you can feel the teeth through the skin. He wasn’t even a squelchy pecker who made awkward sounds while attacking chicken-style. He was a face swallower. (more…)

 

I Can’t Hear the Bells February 11, 2015

I grew up next to a fire department. Besides getting a great education in strippers (they had lots of bachelor parties), I also heard lots and lots of fire sirens. And after hearing the same sound over and over for years and years, I stopped being able to hear that particular sound. Not like I’m deaf, but my mind just doesn’t process it as a thing.

It really is kind of nice when I’m at home. The sirens don’t wake me up during the night or make me drop my milk when they start suddenly. But it was a really big problem when I went to college in Oklahoma City.

I was terrified of tornados, but my roommates assured me that if a tornado were coming, there would be sirens to warn me. Not to mention the whole deathly looking sky and fleeing people scattering for shelter. I took those to all be surefire signs that it was time to panic. But then one day I was walking to class in a little piddly rain (it wasn’t bad, just a little inconvenient) when suddenly the people around me started to run.

(more…)

 

The Ice Storm Cometh December 16, 2013

I was a dance major in college, and my department had ridiculous standards when it came to attendance. One unexcused absence meant your grade dropping a whole letter. And getting an excused absence was more painful then pulling teeth, even if you were skipping to get your teeth pulled. (more…)