lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

An Awkward Kiss February 13, 2017

When I was in college as a dance major, I had to take two semesters of acting. It didn’t bother me. I was totally comfortable with it. I had done plays and Shakespeare before, unlike a lot of the dance majors, so it was a fun class for me. Trying new techniques, doing great scene work, kissing random guys.

Okay, so the kissing bit was weird. And not because I was already dating my now husband at the time. We’re both performers, it sort of comes with the territory. Like taking your clothes off in front of other people, and running around in your underpants for money. The class kissing was weird because not all the kissers were good.

There was this one guy, who was very sweet, and I would feel bad writing about him except, well, who knows they’re a bad kisser? How would he ever figure out I was blogging about his inability to press his lips to another humans in an appealing fashion?

Anyway, he wasn’t like a no-lip, where you can feel the teeth through the skin. He wasn’t even a squelchy pecker who made awkward sounds while attacking chicken-style. He was a face swallower. (more…)

 

Eye Contact Evasion June 15, 2015

As a part of the show that I’m doing this summer, we do a little melodrama section.  The audience gets to “Booo,” and everyone loves it. Two lucky men are chosen to have a gun fight, and then one comes up on stage. My character is in love with the, now dead, gunman, and part of the script is that I kiss him. Not on the mouth. Even Julia Roberts doesn’t do that. First, I give him a peck on the cheek. The man usually blushes, and the narrator of the melodrama tells me to kiss him again. So I kiss Mr. Gunman on the top of the head.

That usually gets a little titter from the audience.

Then the narrator says, “Oh come on, let’s see that again.”

And I spin in, perch on that lucky gunman’s lap, clap a hand over my mouth, and pretend to make out with that audience member like it’s the last dance at prom.

That right there is the most awkward part of my job. It’s not the thigh strength I takes to pretend to sit on someone’s lap. It’s not the occasional stank breath from the old men. It’s when my victim tries to look me in the eyes. The scenario usually goes one of three ways:

1) Old man looks me straight in the eye, clearly terrified of me and afraid I might be the last thing he ever sees. (more…)

 

Declaring a Title October 9, 2013

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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Ten years ago this Friday, my husband and I went on our first date. This fact makes me feel incredibly old, though I suppose that I should give myself a little slack since we started dating our freshman year of college.

My husband and I kissed before our first date. I use the term kissed loosely. (more…)