lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Perfect Theme February 6, 2017

I have the pleasure of currently living with roommates I like. I don’t mean to say that I don’t usually like my roommates or even that liking my roommates is a rarity. What is rare is having roommates who like the same TV shows as you enough to binge watch as a group. Like we’ve done with West World… and Sherlock.

And in this binging I have discovered something. Theme music is everything.

I love Game of Thrones. I love the theme music of Game of Thrones. When I plan to watch the show with friends, I automatically start singing the theme song, and with the musical theatre crowd in which I am so deeply ingrained, you can expect the counterpart and harmonies to be there as well.

We all fell in love with West World after one episode, and when we talked about watching the next one, none of us could hum the theme. We knew there were creepy piano hands and a horse, but not really what the notes were. (more…)

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Flaccid Fist April 20, 2016

The Merriam Webster definition of “flaccid” is not firm : not hard or solid : lacking strength or force.

I think we can all agree that “flaccid” is just about as gross a word as “moist.”

Flaccid. Moist. Say it with me:

Flaccid moist.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten the giggles or gagging out of our systems, I find flaccid men to be wholly unattractive. Get your minds out of the gutter. I don’t mean that in the Game of Thrones, below the panty line sense. I dance with a lot of guys onstage. Big ones, little ones, sweaty ones, smelly ones, but you know what I can’t deal with? The flaccid ones. The ones with hands that feel like newborn baby toes. All soft and round with the feeling of dysfunctionality.

I am very lucky and found a husband who’s built like a Welsh coal miner, which is like a lumberjack but under six-foot. He’s like a brick wall.

And it’s not that amply-proportioned men necessarily fit into the flaccid category. There are some very strong guys in this world who lack six packs. They grab you to waltz, and you know they will partner you well. And then there are guys who go to the gym every day, look all strong, take your hand and… flaccid. How do they hold a pencil?!

I now understand the virtue of a firm hand shake. It’s not to see if you can break all the bones in my hand, it’s to prove that fat, thin, short, tall, balding or man bun, you are not a flaccid human. You can carry wood, open jars, and waltz like a boss.

I know my aversion to flaccidity (yes, that is a real word) is not universal. Some people like soft hands. But for me a flaccid fist will never do. Please feel free to giggle again.

And once more for good measure.

Flaccid. Moist. Fist.

 

Chris’s Corner of Conundrums and Comprehension – Episode One: Dinner Theatre May 13, 2015

Filed under: Myths and Legends — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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Welcome one and all to Chris’s Corner of Conundrums and Comprehension. This is my first of what will eventually be multiple guest posts on lifebeyondexaggeration.

Megan and I are currently working in Alaska for a dinner theatre show in which we portray actual, historical figures. Well, I portray Harry Karstens, first superintendent of Denali National Park, and Megan plays a showgirl based on real-life roadhouse showgirls who existed during the time of the gold strike on the Klondike and in Alaska.

I say all of that to say this: wouldn’t it be great if you could go to restaurants where your servers portrayed (my new favorite word apparently) characters from your favorite books/television shows? For instance, imagine a Game of Thrones-themed restaurant. Would you ever trust a beverage delivered to you by Olenna Tyrell? How long would it take to get an answer about dinner and drink specials from Hodor? (more…)