lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

No Laughing Matter March 20, 2018

Filed under: Tales of Humanity's Imperfections — meganorussell @ 11:30 am
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I have this horrible habit of laughing at the wrong times. It’s my stress reaction. I don’t laugh at really horrible things, just normal things that you’re supposed to show polite sympathy for.

Someone’s puking. I laugh. Something breaks. I laugh. Someone forgets all their lines on stage and freezes like a deer in headlights. I’ll be the super professional actor giggling like a crazy person in the corner.

I guess I’ve always been a stress laugher, but the first real instance I remember was when the guy I was not dating (you know how that goes) in high school ran out of gas while driving me home. (more…)

 

The Pregnant Nun January 5, 2017

Filed under: Starting Off Strange — meganorussell @ 3:30 pm
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I’m weird. If you’ve been to this blog before, I’m sure you’ve realized that. But there’s nothing like spending time with family to remind you just how terribly weird you are.

I got to spend Christmas with my mom and sister this year, which is a rare treat for a performer. My husband was there; my sister’s husband and his parents were there. We were all chatting, and at one point my mom said something like, “Well, I knew you were going to be weird when I made the nun your mother.”

Outside of my family, you would think that was the ravings of a mad woman, but no no, it’s true.

I grew up in an inn, and some of the many things that happened between those brown brick walls were murder mysteries. You’d arrange the group, my mother would mail everyone a character, you’d come to the house, and we’d slowly kill you all off. It was usually a good, family-friendly time.

When I was about four (so my sister was around six), a group was coming in, and the woman who should have turned out to be the killer according to my mother’s grand plan for the evening didn’t show. (more…)

 

A Hypoallergenic Bubble December 1, 2016

I have allergies. All my life I’ve had allergies. Ragweed, foods, dust, I’m allergic to all of it. It is my destiny.

But a few months ago I went to a new allergist, and she decided to do a blood test. Results came back. On a scale of 1-20, I’m only allergic to trees and that only reads at a four… Lies. Lies and medical deception.

Fast forward to last week when I go back to the allergist because I’ve had four sinus infections in the last year. She tells me to go off all allergy meds for five days before the appointment. It was the longest five days ever. Drippy eyes, runny nose, crackly voice. All things that are super great to deal with while performing a big dance review.

Anywho, I go to the office and the doctor says she really doesn’t know what to do with me because I don’t have many allergies.

(Cue cold-eyed stare of death from me.) (more…)

 

The Perfect Cookie October 29, 2016

Have you ever had that moment when you realize that something is perfect? Not just really good or exceptional, but perfect. The best that has ever been. No need or room for improvement. Just flawless bliss.

I found that feeling… in a cookie. And not just any cookie. A molasses cookie. I know that sounds weird, but I’m in Amish country right now. That’s like a thing here. I don’t know. They put molasses in everything. Sometimes I hate it. But in this case it was perfect.

A deep brown cookie with a savory taste that cuts through the sweet. (more…)

 

Please Ignore the Irrational Tears October 22, 2016

My doctor decided to put me on a short course of prednisone. No big deal, just a little steroidal help. I’ve been on steroids before, usually there’s some sort of unpleasantness involved. Like my face turning red, or growing insta-jowls, cosmetic things that are annoying-yet-temporary.

This time my face decided it didn’t want to react, so I have become a completely irrational human instead. Not like roid ragey—I’m not mad at anyone, not irritable or anything. I just cry. For no real reason, I cry. So since I can’t think of a fun story to tell without become a human faucet, I will instead enumerate the reasons I have cried irrationally in the last few days.

-I did too many pushups.

-My husband brought me two chicken fingers. (I had asked for said chicken fingers.) (more…)

 

A New Level of Nerd October 8, 2016

I have officially reached a new level of nerd. And this is coming from the girl who thought she was going to marry Alexander Rozhenko, has dressed as a TARDIS for the last three Halloweens, and craves the Walking Dead like a walker craves juicy, live-person flesh.

But still I have reached a new level of nerd. I have officially started playing Dungeons and Dragons. And… I like it.

I sort of feel like I might be entering an episode of Stranger Things by playing D&D, but if the upside down is where I’m headed, at least I’ll have a good proficiency with my long bow. I mean, I get +7 with whatever I roll on that one, so the Demogorgon should be no problem.

Though truthfully my character isn’t doing so well. (more…)

 

Panties Predicament October 3, 2016

I’ve been onstage a few thousand times at least. I’ve made my living for my entire adult life on stage. But there are certain times that having years of muscle memory built up can bite you in the butt.

I just opened Anything Goes this week. It’s a super fun show that I’ve never had the opportunity to do before. I’m an Angel in the show, which in this case means a sultry backup dancer. Rather than design and build the costumes for the show in-house, the company I work for decided to rent the tour/Broadway costumes. And that’s great! They’re beautiful, but they are meant to fit other people.

So while all the costumes are meant to have bloomers (show panties) built into them, there is one costume where the bloomers had to be taken out so I could tunnel into the costume instead of stepping into it. All the other girls get to step into their dresses, but me, with the boobies and the bootie, cannot get into that costume in the customary direction. (more…)