lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Snorkeling Sickness March 11, 2017

My husband and I aren’t usually seasick people. We’ve ridden on boats from canoes to cruise ships and neither of us has ever gotten ill. Until we went snorkeling a few weeks ago.

It was our first double day off since September, so we treated ourselves to a little trip to Key West. We rode the catamaran down. That was great! I read the whole way, my husband played his video game. We spent the evening exploring and woke up the next morning ready for a snorkeling adventure!

That’s where the problems began. We left to hotel too early for their breakfast and had to find food on the docks. My husband, feeling adventurous, chose a Cuban breakfast sandwich with pulled pork and chorizo. Then we got on the boat. Everything was still fine, but since it was a little choppy, they decided to take us to the soft coral instead of the actual barrier reef. Still super cool. I’d never snorkeled with soft coral before.

Then we got into the water, and I learned something very important: soft coral doesn’t hold down sand. It was like trying to swim through a sand storm. (more…)

 

A Slithery Situation January 18, 2017

Filed under: Animal Antics — meganorussell @ 8:00 pm
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Once upon a time we found a rat outside our theatre. It was a harrowing and tragic tale, and we thought that our wildlife encounters were over. But alas, they were not.

The next day, we were on a break. I was sitting in the theatre, hanging out when one of the girls came in to tell the stage manager that there was a little snake that may have gotten into the lobby. Naturally, we all ran to see it.

Sure enough, there was a little black and yellow snake curled up right inside the door. The little bugger had crept through the crack and wanted to make himself at home. The Stage Manager sighed and got ready to get the snake. Unfortunately, none of us were knew if Mr. Snakey Pants was venomous or not.

Note from the Blogger’s husband: This is one of my biggest pet peeves. So many people use so many words interchangeably that are not synonymous. Further and farther, for instance (which have been used incorrectly so many times that they are now accepted as being synonyms). To be clear, something is venomous if it is capable of injecting the poison/venom into you. Something that is poisonous must be either ingested or touched. In short, venomous fangs vs. poisonous skin. That is all.

Since we were between shows, there were some boxes piled right up by the door. Of course that was where the snake darted toward. And not knowing if he was a murdery dude, we couldn’t reach in to get him. The Stage Manager found a broom handle while I grabbed some sheets of Styrofoam and made a snake wall. (more…)

 

The Terror of Traffic March 3, 2016

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 7:30 pm
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I can’t drive. I mean, I have a license. I am legally able to drive. On a nice country road or empty highway, I can drive for hours.

But traffic.

Oh, traffic, thine nemesis of my soul. The thing that gives me stress hives and makes me cry. That evil being that makes me want a kitten as a stress pet.

Thou art evil.

From the man who tries to run his bike into my car to the stop light that doesn’t allow half the line of waiting cars to pass. I hate you.

Fighting my way across Southwest Florida is my personal version of hell. Never knowing where in that hell I am. Never knowing if the person in front of my bumper is trying to merge or has died of old age while behind the wheel. It’s making me a nervous wreck.

And the Garmin doesn’t help. It’s telling me to go down a road I don’t know in an overly cheerful voice. And then she (the vile and misleading siren that is Garmin) wants you to merge, but there’s no way in hell the people around you are going to consider letting you get over. So you miss the turn and she gives you the ding of shame.

And the clock. (more…)

 

The Time I Got Road Rage February 20, 2016

I don’t drive very often. It’s not that I can’t drive. I can. I have a license and everything. But my husband really loves to drive, and traffic makes me angry. So I usually avoid it.

Well, today is my nephew’s birthday! He’s adorable, and I love him. So to avoid being the worst aunt ever, I decided to venture to the post office to priority mail his present to him so it would be there in time for his birthday. Normally, this wouldn’t be a huge deal, but I had to go between shows, during peak season, on a freakin’ island. And a beautiful island at that. With lots or tourist and not too many roads.

I managed to make it to the post office, only needing to call my husband once for directions. But then…. But then. On the way back, traffic got worse. So much worse. I had to phone my mother so she could listen to me rail at the traffic around me. I spent twelve minutes, TWELVE MINUTES, thirty feet from the turn off I needed! And no one would move! We sat there! I could have walked back to the theatre faster, but I think there’s a law against abandoning a vehicle in the road, and I was in company car anyway! Gah! (more…)

 

Preorder for The Siren’s Realm has Begun! February 16, 2015

Preorder for The Siren’s Realm has begun! Just like with The Tethering, preorder for this book will be done through Kickstarter. For all the reasons why Kickstarter is an amazingly author and publisher friendly platform, click here.

Aside from getting so nervous that I thought I would have a permanent leg twitch while I watched the clock count down to midnight and waited for the preorder page to go live, it’s been a lovely start to preorder.

I walked along the beach and met a battalion of birds waiting a seagull’s command.

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I rode by bike and didn’t fall down.

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And I got to see an amazing sunset.

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And now my book is out for the world to order!

TheSirenRealm

Jacob loves Emilia Gray, but things aren’t always that simple in the world of Magickind…

The war has begun.

The Dragons are gaining power, and the Gray Clan stands alone. Desperate to find a way to stop the Pendragon, Emilia is forced to seek answers from someone who hasn’t been seen in seventeen years . . . Her mother. Embarking on a magical journey filled with witches, wizards, centaurs and a dangerous and powerful Siren, Jacob and Emilia must take a leap of faith to a land neither could have ever imagined . . . and hope they can then find their way home.

 

So head on over to the Kickstarter page for amazing deals you won’t be able to find anywhere else!

 

The Sad Tale of the Squirrel January 7, 2015

Filed under: Animal Antics — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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Once upon a time (yesterday morning to be exact), there was a little squirrel. He liked to run and play, and since he lived in Florida, he liked to climb palm trees.

Now, when he was a young squirrel, his mother told him to be careful of the great birds in the sky. For though most of the birds wouldn’t, the evil ones would eat the guts from his very belly.

The days went by, and the squirrel forgot his mother’s warning. He knew that on the other side of the driveway sweet nuts grew. So, the little squirrel ran across the pavement, intent only on his treat, and before he knew it, a great bird had struck him dead. The bird’s mother had told him that squirrel gizzards were the tastiest treat. And the bird ate the little squirrel’s guts first, only looking up when an unsuspecting human tried to get into their car and ran away screaming when the bird dragged the squirrel away by its entrails.

Thus ends the sad tale of the squirrel. And my love of birds.

 

Ice Not Included December 27, 2014

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I most certainly did. Since my husband loves skating, and I enjoy seeing if I can make it around the rink once without holding his hand, we like to try and skate wherever we are each holiday season. It’s a lot easier to find an ice rink in New York than it is in Florida, but we decided to try anyway. In my search for holiday wonderment, I found a little rink right across from one of our favorite restaurants! It’s about a two hour drive, but there was a big lights display in that direction as well. So we decided to make the drive.

Before heading to dinner, we went to check out the ice rink. It was tiny. Teeny Tiny. My-master-bedroom-in-cast-housing-is-bigger-than-that-ice-rink kind of tiny. And the ice looked very strange. It had lines down it, and it didn’t have the normal ice shimmer. Finally, my husband asked the attendant what the rink was made of. (more…)