What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

A Golf Cart Caper August 29, 2015

Next in my series of rules you know were made for a reason: Do not drive the golf cart drunk.

Not no drunk driving. Not do not use the company golf cart for non-work related reasons. Do not drive the golf cart drunk.

I was working for a theatre company that is a part of a country resort. The property was large enough that the theatre had its own golf cart for moving costumes and things across property. This meant that the theatre folks had the keys to the precious golf cart all the time. There was a giant hill in the back of the resort. You know, the kind of hill that you just want a ride up even if you’re stone cold sober because no matter what is at the top of the hill it’s probably not worth the effort to walk up the damn thing.

The year before I arrived at the theatre company and received my actor packet with the rule DO NOT drive the golf cart drunk, the actors and techs had done just that. They had gotten hammered and driven the golf cart up and down the giant hill as fast as they could, doing their best Dukes of Hazard impression.

Until the resort owner came out in his bathrobe at two in the morning to take the keys away. Yep, the producer had to revoke golf cart privileges, and every time he saw an actor driving the golf cart after that fateful night, even if it was in the middle of the day, he’d give them the hairy eye like he was afraid that we might just be practicing for a reprise of the midnight ride of golf cart glory.