lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

A Tale of Two Understudies December 4, 2018

Today, I offer you a tale of two understudies. Well, really it’s the story of two different leads who had to call out of shows. The leads were from two different titular-character driven productions. By that, I mean the show was about one character, and the rest of us were just there to dance around behind them.

The first who had to call out was a man. His voice went kaput, and he had to call out for a day. He was a great guy who knew how hard the job of his understudy was going to be. Rather than throw a tantrum about his understudy going on, he did everything he could to help his understudy succeed. Right down to being on vocal rest in the wings during the show to make sure all of the understudy’s quick changes went well. At the end of the performance, people congratulated the understudy on doing an amazing job. But they also thanked the lead for being such a gracious and wonderful person to help his understudy get through the show.

The second to call out was a woman. She waffled about calling out for several days, giving her understudy several mid-show heart attacks, then finally called out. (more…)

 

The Patience Game November 30, 2018

I’m not a patient person. It’s not my thing. You tell me we’re going to go to Disney world, and I want to go right now. You tell me you bought me a present, and I want it right now!

I tell you this so you’ll understand how very proud of me you should be.

This year, the husband and I went to Greece and Italy. While we were in Italy, we went to one of my favorite places in the world: the Ponte Vecchio.

The bridge is entirely covered in high-end jewelry stores. In fact, it’s illegal for a non-jewelry store to be on the bridge. It has something to do with royalty not wanting stinky things like butchers and tanneries on their commute, so they banned everything but gold and the tradition stuck.

It’s the coolest place of commercialism I’ve ever seen. The storefronts look like jewelry boxes, and when they open in the morning, it’s like something out of a fairytale.

Anyway, the husband and I visited the Ponte Vecchio, and I found a pair of earrings I really, really wanted. Gorgeous little hoops with rose gold on the outside and white gold on the inside. They were so amazing and more than I could excuse spending on a travel gift to myself.

But our ten-year wedding anniversary is coming up at the end of December. (more…)

 

Lines of Misery November 20, 2018

The husband and I went to Panera for breakfast before a very long day of work last week. Just, you know, a sugar and cinnamon crusted bagel treat to get us through a twelve-hour work day.

Anyway, the cappuccino machine broke, and we had to wait in the parking lot for a while so they could deliver our coffee to us. (Drive-thrus man… you win some, you get stuck sitting in your car for some.)

We finally got our caffeine fix and went to leave the parking lot, and there was this girl walking across traffic as slowly as an able-bodied person could imagine walking. She was wearing clothes to start a shift as a server, and her face was just the most miserable I have ever seen. (more…)

 

Hold My Massive Pill Container November 9, 2018

I’m not an easily offended person. Mostly because I don’t have it in me to care, a little because I try to be understanding.

But here’s the thing—pardon me while I pull out my soap box—it pisses me off when people completely lack understanding of what it is to have a chronic illness and decide to have loud opinions about your needing damn medicine!

Bah!

I get chronic sinus infections. It’s an unfortunate mix of terrible allergies, a shoddy immune system, and living my life on immune suppressants. So, I take antibiotics more than most people should. Because I have an autoimmune disease.

I don’t need your opinion about how pharmacists “are just pill pushers” and how we don’t need modern medicine. I don’t want your home remedy—my neti pot and I are really great friends. I don’t need you to tell me that I don’t look sick. Or my favorite: “Well, if it were that bad, you wouldn’t be doing the show.” (more…)

 

Laughing in the Face of… Everything October 30, 2018

I have an unfortunate habit of laughing when things go wrong.

It’s not like I try and make bad things happen, but my natural stress response is to laugh.

Once upon a time, I may or may not have dropped a lit candle down the back of a piano. I ended up gasping on the floor with tears streaming down my face over that one.

My husband got horrible food poisoning while out with our friends. They were all worried as he hurled on the side of the road. I was laughing my butt off. While rubbing my husband’s back, of course. (more…)

 

Jerry Potter and the Fierce Fandom October 19, 2018

I was walking into my (current) home the other day, and there were two boys playing outside. By playing I mean they had a nerf gun and were trying to shoot each other, but that’s their parents’ problem.

Anyway, I walked past them when one boy said to the other, “No, you’ve got to duck. Like Leo or Neo or whatever.”

I stopped, looked dead pan at the boys, and said, “It’s Neo.”

(I swear I sounded like my evil adopt-a-grandparent.)

The boy said. “Oh yeah, thanks.”

I went inside questioning

  1. How I became enough of a nerd that I knew exactly what they were talking about and
  2. How I became so old and bitter that their pretending to be a character without knowing the character’s name really bothered me.

But then I realized I’m not crazy. They should know Neo’s name if they’re going to be looking to him for guidance on how to dodge nerf suction darts.

What would the world of geekdom be if we didn’t protect the names and honor of our heroes?

Should we allow children to paint lightning bolts on their heads and parade around as Jerry Potter? No! (more…)

 

A Musical Problem October 2, 2018

I try not to get political on this blog. There are different, more productive platforms for that type of thing.

But with the mess currently happening in D.C. and the show I’m currently performing in, I had a thought.

I’m all about women’s rights, clearly. Me Too has done a huge service for our nation and for the world. Women are becoming stronger and more defiant all the time. The age of women being used as physical toys is coming to an end. But I’m performing in 42nd St, a show in which a director kisses an actor to teach her how to… act, and women are literally placed on a pedestal.

Funny Girl the Musical

Pardon me while I stand on my pedestal.

That is by far not the most problematic scene in musical theatre. South Pacific is just…whoa dude, not really okay at all. Let’s take this young girl who doesn’t speak the same language as the man and have sex with her on the floor—not great choices there, buddy. And that relationship is romanticized. (more…)