lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Bridal Bailout May 4, 2015

I’m back! Sorry for the missed post on Saturday. Chris and I just got back to Alaska, where we’ll be working again for the summer. It was a whirlwind of a few days, and I didn’t have the chance to post this. But I now present to you: What Should Have Been Saturday’s Post.

We just closed a production of Funny Girl. As I was not in fact playing the Funny Girl, Ms. Fanny Brice, I spent my show running around changing costumes, and every once in a while I danced a few steps.

One of the numbers that I was in was “Beautiful Bride.” I tip walked in a huge costume and looked pretty. It was great.

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But those hip baskets were pretty heavy, and the giant headpiece was a beast as well. But since it was just walking, it wasn’t too bad to balance the extra thirty pounds of weight I had just added to my body.

A few days ago, I was doing the bride number, and everything seemed fine. Until I went up onto the tiny little cake platform. It was two steps high, and the surface I had to stand on was barely large enough to fit both my feet. Well, I was “dancing” on my little platform, and suddenly one of my feet had lost the ground. Normally, I would have just put my lost left foot back onto the platform and continued on with life. But that extra thirty pounds of weight was just too much for me. I began to teeter sideways! (more…)

 

Mail Order Male September 8, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 8:30 pm
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Last week, we did a wonderful ridge hike to see the fall colors in Denali. There was some snow, some slipping, and lots of burning in my legs.

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It took us longer to finish the hike than expected, what with the snow and the wind storm up on the ridge. So, we missed our shuttle back out of the park. Rather than wait an hour and a half for the next bus, my husband, our friend, and I decided to hitchhike out of the park. It took a few minutes and a few waving tourists (a thumb out is a plea to get out of the cold, not a friendly hello), before a really nice car with two gentlemen seated up front pulled over. (more…)

 

A Soul Mate, and Other Lies Cinderella Taught You September 6, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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Lately, I’ve seen a bunch of articles circling the Book of Face all about how the concept of soul mates is ruining modern dating and marriage.

As a disclaimer, I should probably remind you that my dating experience is limited and my relationship advice disastrous, usually involving instant marriage or chopping of genitals.

I do see the problem in waiting for one person who is Prince Charming. A man who is rich, handsome, brilliant, and happens to own a horse. And of course, all of these fine qualities haven’t turned him into a megalomaniac. I mean, if there were millions of men running around who met those qualifications, then sure, spending your life waiting to be swept off onto horseback by a man with perfect hair would absolutely be a reasonable proposition.

But with the severe lack of horseback riding millionaires, perhaps we need to focus not on the standard set by Disney, but on the real life soul mate. (more…)

 

Flat Top Folly June 28, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem,What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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I love hiking. I love climbing mountains. Not the crazy oxygen tank kind, but the “wow mom, look what I can do” kind. My husband has a theory that our need to climb mountains is the same want to have the high ground that sends felines on top of bookshelves. There’s something about seeing everything from above that makes you feel big and little all at the same time. Or in a cat’s case, makes you feel able to pounce at any moment. (more…)

 

Dirty Books in the Making (Rated PG-13) June 4, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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Since my husband spends the vast majority of his free time alternately helping me with my writing and bringing me juice boxes when I have editing nervous breakdowns, he has now become interested in becoming an author. I think it’s a great idea. He’s really great with grammar, knows lots about editing, and is wildly creative. But he’s decided he wants to write a sci-fi/thriller dirty book. Not a romance. A dirty book. (more…)

 

The Florentine Faux Pas May 31, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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I would love to say that my husband and I never fight. That we exist as two co-dependent peas in a pod and that our morning breathe smells like gummy bears and sunshine. But this would be a lie. We do fight. Not often, and usually not for more than ten minutes (I have a short attention span, and being mad is boring), but we do fight.

A few days ago, we were talking with some friends about being in Florence, Italy last year. My husband laughed and said, “Yeah, I really thought you were going to murder me.” And all the memories of considering pushing him out in front of a bus came flooding back. I either had to walk away from the story or hire a bus to finish the job. And this is why. (more…)

 

The Marrieds May 10, 2014

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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My husband and I don’t have sides of the bed. Mostly it’s my bed, and I place his body heat where it is most convenient for me. Not really, I just insist on being cuddled. So, if his left shoulder is bothering him, I switch sides so he can sleep on his right side without the possibility of my butt getting cold. Call me spoiled, but no one likes a cold butt.

So, it made me wonder, aside from the obvious co-dependency, what else in our marriage is strange? (more…)