The Suffering Protagonist September 9, 2019
A Mass of Mint June 19, 2018
I’m not the most domestic person. It’s not a part of my personality or skill set.
But last summer I decided, as I was living at home for the first time in a very long time, that I wanted to grow mint.
- By all online accounts, mint is so easy to grow it’s nearly impossible to kill. Sounds great!
- Mint can be used in food and drink. Easy and edible, I like it.
- They sell mint plants for super cheap at the garden store. Budget-friendly is great.
By all measures, mint and I had just become soul mates. The husband and I went out and bought one tiny mint plant. I put it in the garden, fed it organic fertilizer, and waited a few days before picking off a few leaves. The fresh mint was delicious! Tossed into an icy cold beverage, a few leaves created minty perfection.
But my plant was so small and helpless, if I kept pulling off its leaves, soon the little baby mint would be naked and die.
So I went back to the plant store and bought two more mint plants, carefully placing them next to the first and giving them plenty of that high-end, organic fertilizer. (more…)
The Mediocre Mugging December 22, 2017
This week’s touring adventures found the husband and I in Saskatchewan, Canada. Not a bad little place, if you discount the presence of a super aggressive homeless population.
The husband and I have lived in some pretty sketchy places (cough cough Oklahoma City cough cough). We’ve been raved at about the end of the world, been asked for change, but no one’s ever tried to mug us. And the attempted mugging was done in the most Canadian way possible.
We were walking down the street in the middle of the afternoon with a fellow cast member, and this dude starts walking up to get in my husband’s face. The husband shakes his head and says quite eloquently, “Get the f**k out of my way,” and steps around the mugger.
The mugger follows us and says, “Turn out your pockets.”
Turn out your pockets… Is this fifth grade? Is anyone actually going to turn out their pockets on command?
We keep walking and Mr. Mugger says, “Give me ten dollars, and I won’t punch you.” (more…)
Boiled and Burned July 1, 2015
I have a confession to make. A few months ago I reached a new low. I’ve been avoiding telling you all the sad tale, but sometimes a good story is more important than pride.
So here it goes. I started a tiny kitchen fire while boiling water.
It’s okay to laugh. There was no permanent damage, and I didn’t get in trouble with my artistic director.
The husband had just finished making chicken for dinner, and while I was talking to my mother on the phone before we went to the theatre, I decided I wanted a cup of tea. Since there was no tea kettle in the cast house, I started to boil water in a sauce pan. I cleaned the kitchen a little and then washed my hands. I was using a paper towel to dry my hands and noticed a spot of chicken grease on the stove. Being a person who hates using paper towels since all I can picture is the soul of the poor trees screaming you lazy, earth-hating bum! at me every time I use one when there is a perfectly good hand towel in the room, I decided to assuage my guilt by wiping up the bit of grease on the stove. (more…)
Greetings, Human February 23, 2015
So, here’s the thing. Yes, it is going to be another one of those posts. I am all about gays’ rights. Gay marriage, for instance. I don’t see why a person being gay should have anything to do with their status as a human being. Ever since I was a little girl, I could never grasp why some people made such a big deal about it.
The same thing goes with transgendered people. If you need to change what you look like to match what you feel like, go for it. Live your life. Be happy. Miserable people rarely contribute to the world. And when they do, it’s usually really sad art before they cut off their own ear and die. So, let’s make happy art and be happy people.
But I need a word. I need a non-gender-specific version of sir and/or ma’am. (more…)
Fired for a Farce February 2, 2015
When I was an intern at Williamstown Theatre Festival, I learned a ridiculous amount about theatre and acting. I was also fired for the first (and hopefully last) time in my life. It was from the actual intern part of the summer. It was from a side job that I picked up, screening plays for a competition.
We were paid something like $10 to read a play then rate it and fill out a form about why we felt the way we did, which was way too much effort for what we were being paid but a great learning experience. At least I thought it would be until I got my first play. (more…)
The Perfect Aunt November 12, 2014
I don’t get to see my adorable baby nephew as often as I would like. I don’t live near my sister, and my schedule is crazy. Besides constantly asking for pictures of his chubby little face, I have all these activities I want him to do. I mean, true, I won’t be there for them, but I can enjoy the benefits without any messy cleanup.
For example, I want to buy him tap shoes. I want to see videos of him scuffing up my sister’s perfect floors as he shuffles off to buffalo. Not that I want her floors ruined. I just think it is a worthy sacrifice for such a noble cause. And a ukulele. I want him to play the ukulele with his pudgy fingers that can’t quite figure out how to put the baby cheerios into his mouth with any precision as yet.
And art. I want baby art to paste onto the cast house fridge! Handprints and squiggles for everyone!!!!!! I’ve been told I can’t buy the tap shoes till he’s mastered walking. No ukulele till he’s three. But I actually managed to convince her to let my buy the baby organic crayons and paint. The sofa and walls may be doomed, but by George, this Aunt is going to get her fridge art. Score one for Aunt Megan!!!