What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Santa Did It May 31, 2019

The condo I’m currently living in as a part of my cast housing is for sale. A few days ago, we had some potential buyers come through. They looked at the banisters, checked the layout, and then on the way out, they decided to ask the husband and I about our jobs at the theatre.

Since the husband and I are both actors, we get people asking about what shows we’re doing and what our lives are like very frequently. We always offer a little tidbit about our current show and how great it is that we get to travel together so often. Usually, we get responses along the lines of you must really love your job or wow, that’s so exciting! This time what we got was a little weird.

The woman told us that she liked theater, murder mysteries in particular, because she had at one point gone to a murder mystery and knew who the killer was. She was very proud of herself because no one else had come close to guessing the killer was, in fact, Santa Claus.

Now, I’m not sure what sort of murder mystery casts Santa Claus as the killer. I hope it was seasonal. If not, I have some serious questions about the sanity of the author. She said everyone in her party was mad at her for accusing Santa Claus of murder.

Now, I’m not saying that if Santa Claus were guilty of murder he should be allowed to get away with it because of his place in the Christmas holidays, but if one were to accuse Santa of murder when he hadn’t even entered into the season, then it might seem a little bias.

The gentleman the lady was with laughed, rolled his eyes a bit, and said as they were on their way out the door that he’d like to know what kind of Christmas presents she’d gotten for the last few years.

I’m not sure if he was referring to the fact that, since she’d accused Santa of murder, he might not want to bring her anything good anymore, or that she had accused Santa falsely because he didn’t bring her nice enough gifts. In either case, it seems Santa might be a dangerous friend and a deadly enemy.

I’m sure there are many murder mysteries where people have been accused of horrible things, but considering the fact that I was only expecting them to look at the layout of the place, finding out that Santa Claus might be homicidal was not an expected part of my day.


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