What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Life is a Group Project December 18, 2018

You know how in school group projects were the worst?

I’ve come to the realization that life is just one massive group project. Hear me out, okay?

I have a high standard that I’ve set for myself. I know what my job is, how it is expected to be done, the level of professionalism that should be maintained. Normally, things just sail smoothly along, all of us, like adult ducks, cruising down the stream of life.

But then some duck who doesn’t feel the need to maintain the dignity of the duck population gives up on smooth swimming and starts flailing their wings around like they’ve never swum before in their life. All the mature ducks are getting splashed, the young ducks think it’s funny, and you realize you’ve spent your whole ducking life working hard under the assumption that the other ducks in your stream also cared to maintain the dignity of the swimming party.

But not all ducks are created equal, and no matter how much of your life you dedicate to keeping the dignity of the ducks in order, one dumb duck ruins the whole damn thing for everyone.

Even if we splash away from the duck metaphor to the greater problems of the world, we still have the group project problem.

Saving the planet from climate change for example. I’m over here watching my water usage, being careful with single use items, and going for less energy consumption. I drive down the road and a guy in a giant truck spewing black smoke tosses his chewed up plastic straw out the window. As hard as I try to keep the power point presentation of life going, if the dude in the truck keeps deleting my work, we’re not going to get anywhere!

Our teachers weren’t tormenting us in school by pairing us with people they knew wouldn’t do a bit of work on group projects; they were preparing us for the horrors of adult life. Only now we don’t get a bad grade we can fix through extra credit. Now we end up doubting all of our life choices while dealing with children dressed in stolen adult skins while riding on a climate-changing rock through the darkness of space where turning in an extra project won’t grant you dignity or clean oxygen.

So ends the rant.


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