What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

A Mass of Mint June 19, 2018

Filed under: I Meant Well — meganorussell @ 11:30 am
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m not the most domestic person. It’s not a part of my personality or skill set.

But last summer I decided, as I was living at home for the first time in a very long time, that I wanted to grow mint.

  • By all online accounts, mint is so easy to grow it’s nearly impossible to kill. Sounds great!
  • Mint can be used in food and drink. Easy and edible, I like it.
  • They sell mint plants for super cheap at the garden store. Budget-friendly is great.

By all measures, mint and I had just become soul mates. The husband and I went out and bought one tiny mint plant. I put it in the garden, fed it organic fertilizer, and waited a few days before picking off a few leaves. The fresh mint was delicious! Tossed into an icy cold beverage, a few leaves created minty perfection.

But my plant was so small and helpless, if I kept pulling off its leaves, soon the little baby mint would be naked and die.

So I went back to the plant store and bought two more mint plants, carefully placing them next to the first and giving them plenty of that high-end, organic fertilizer.

A few weeks passed, and despite my pulling off leaves, the mint was still doing great!

Then the husband decided we should have friends over for a barbeque, the menu for which, of course, included mint-infused drinks.

My three mint plants couldn’t take that kind of pressure. So I went out and bought one more mint plant, feeling fairly certain that four mint plants could handle the load.

The barbeque came and went, and the plants survived, and thrived. Like really, really thrived. Within a month, my four tiny mint plants had joined forces to become a mint bush.

I started offering mint to everyone I knew, trying to keep the monster plant from expanding.

I fought the good fight and kept the mint from killing my few other plants. Winter came, and I thought that was it, the mint battle was done.

Nope. Mint seeds and spreads. The mint is taking over the world!

Soon, it will crawl up into my home and strangle me in my sleep with its sweet-smelling leaves. And I can’t bear to just rip it all out because I planted it there! I made the mint monster, it’s my planty child, and it would be wrong of me to murder it.

I am the garden Frankenstein, and the monster I have created will slaughter the other plants. Still, I love my creation.



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