What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

A Maize April 13, 2018

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 11:30 am
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Once upon a time, the husband and I decided to go to a corn maze between performances on a two-show day. This was before we lived on a tour bus, so we had our own car and the maze was less than fifteen minutes from the theatre.

It was a beautiful fall day, and the farm hosting the maze was great. There was apple cider and apple cider donuts. We blithefully headed into the corn maze, ready to spend a fun twenty minutes winding our way through the corn.

About forty minutes later, we realized the maze was bigger than we had imagined.

Fifteen minutes after that, we realized we hadn’t seen anyone in a long time and didn’t really know which way the front of the maze was supposed to be.

We had to be at the theatre for the evening performance in a half hour. Subtract about fifteen minutes for getting from the maze to the parking lot and driving from the farm to theatre and…we were potentially very screwed.

We considered squeezing between the corn stalks to try and find our way out but, not knowing what direction we wanted to go, trail blazing could have landed us on the far side of the farm with no better clue which way our car was (the husband and I were late to the iPhone party, so no compass to be had).

When we had ten minutes left to find the car if we were going to make it to the theatre on time, we finally had to call the stage manager. I used my QWERTY phone and put in the call: We’re really sorry, but we’re currently lost in a corn maze and might be late for half-hour.

The stage manager was super chill. He asked if he should send someone over to blare a horn in the parking lot so we could follow the sound out. A very reasonable plan if you think about it.

But right as we were contemplating who could come and honk a horn to save us, a small child ran past. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced this, but kids usually know where they’re going. I think it might be an instinct we grow out of.

So we chased after the kid who ran straight for the exit. We had been three turns from freedom for like ten minutes.

We told our stage manager we were on our way, sprinted for the car and made it to the theatre with three minutes to spare.

So yeah, if you ever want to go to a corn maze between shows, plan yourself lots of extra time and make sure you have a compass. Or maybe just go on a day off.


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