What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Mediocre Mugging December 22, 2017

This week’s touring adventures found the husband and I in Saskatchewan, Canada. Not a bad little place, if you discount the presence of a super aggressive homeless population.

The husband and I have lived in some pretty sketchy places (cough cough Oklahoma City cough cough). We’ve been raved at about the end of the world, been asked for change, but no one’s ever tried to mug us. And the attempted mugging was done in the most Canadian way possible.

We were walking down the street in the middle of the afternoon with a fellow cast member, and this dude starts walking up to get in my husband’s face. The husband shakes his head and says quite eloquently, “Get the f**k out of my way,” and steps around the mugger.

The mugger follows us and says, “Turn out your pockets.”

Turn out your pockets… Is this fifth grade? Is anyone actually going to turn out their pockets on command?

We keep walking and Mr. Mugger says, “Give me ten dollars, and I won’t punch you.”

Does this work for him? Does anyone actually go, “Ten bucks to not get punched? What a deal!”

No. No one says that. No one turns out their pockets.

Then Mr. Mugger follows us, yelling about the Prime Minister. Because we were going to pay him ten dollars for his opinion on politics?

He stopped following us after about two blocks, and we were totally fine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad the worst mugger known to man targeted us. But I really want to know has this method of turn out your pockets mugging ever actually worked? Has he ever been given ten dollars for not punching someone? Is this a business model that works?

*Note: I apologize if this is a business model that any of you have been working on and I have now published your trade secrets.


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