I would like to take a break from our regularly scheduled tales of wonderment in Ireland to tell you how damned proud of myself I am. No I didn’t land a huge role; no I’m not on the NYT bestseller list; but I did just brush aside unnecessary judgment like it was nothing, and that is a landmark decision.
It wasn’t criticism of anything important even. It was that terrible Mean Girls’ judgment that haunted us all through our teen years. I was just talking about something I liked and was really excited about and JM (judgment monster) decided to make horrible tishing noises like I had just declared eating puppies and throwing babies off buildings were my favorite pastimes. I tried to turn the conversation, which really didn’t involve JM, to another thing I was excited about. Once again, nasty noises like I was a serial killer.
Then I got this horrible twist in my gut. Like I should just not mention what I was excited about, or maybe I was wrong and everything that brought me joy was really sucky/evil. Every fandom, every hobby, every choice that had led me to that moment was wrong and everything about me was just a worthless pile of silly.
And then I realized something: I am a happier person than JM will ever be. I find joy in all sorts of amazing things JM just sneers at. And if she wants to spend all her miserable time judging while I go out and have an amazing time, so much the better for me and the worse for her, ‘cause I wouldn’t want someone with her piss poor attitude along anyway.
I may be a TARDIS-dress wearing, Disney obsessed, firework loving travel addict who writes books and plays pretend for a living, but I am a hell of a lot happier than JM will ever be, and she can kiss my Pluto loving bottom.
And I feel really great about this revelation.