What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Profiling the Viewer June 12, 2017

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 8:30 pm
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I think I may be watching too much Criminal Minds.

For those who aren’t familiar with Criminal Minds, it’s about a group of FBI agents who hunt serial killers. So each episode is about the worst of the worst humanity can provide.

Why am I binge watching a show where you know people are going to die and not from zombies or beheadings? The husband and I have been doing a ton of unpacking and cleaning, and it’s a great show to have on in the background. Honestly, whoever makes their sound track is a genius. The music always tells you when it’s really important that you look at the screen. The music swells…and then there’s a severed head. Super easy to just sort-of pay attention to. And I love watching crime shows because no matter how stressed and downtrodden I feel, I am still way better off than that girl on the slab who had all her blood removed.

But here’s where I think I’ve been watching too much and think I might need to switch to Care Bears.

I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago and thought my arm was gone. I tried to roll over, and I couldn’t feel it at all! Did it occur to me that my arm had fallen asleep? No. I was convinced someone with a limb fetish had stolen my arm. Screaming ensued.

On the plus side, my husband has been watching Criminal Minds with me so when I said someone had stolen my arm he knew where I was coming from and comforted me until I woke up enough to figure out that my arm was still attached and would be able to work again.

The real question is will I give up shows that show the most depraved part of humanity and stick to New Girl from now on?

Hell no. I will never be able to afford a downtown loft as nice as the one that group of financially questionable friends has. And jealousy is not my color.


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