lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

A Scandaless Scandal April 9, 2016

The husband and I moved in together our senior year of college. I know. We were very scandalous. But campus housing was super expensive, and we were super poor. I tried being an RA, but my boss got arrested by the FBI. I didn’t fancy doing that for another year, so off campus housing was our best bet. We found a friend who wanted to share a two bedroom apartment with us, and off we went. Into the drug den.

Well, it wasn’t a drug den anymore. That’s why we got such a great deal on the place. They had kicked all the tenants out to start fresh with non crack-dealing residents, and we were the first ones to sign up. There were a few lingering effects of the old crowd. And a few of the less savory types managed to get back in. But all in all, it wasn’t really a bad apartment.

Just me, the future husband, and our female roomie. The problem was we went to a conservative school and faster than the toilets getting clogged on weigh-in day, rumors went around that I had moved in with the person I was dating. I didn’t really care that people knew. I mean, the only reason it was strange was that we weren’t hiding the fact that we were living together while everyone else tried to be sneaky about shacking up with their boyfriends. But then they found out I was living with another female dancer. For two days, I didn’t realize why the girls were whispering about me extra emphatically and the straight boys were bring super nice. Until someone kindly told me they were so happy that I was out as a lesbian.

What? I mean, I wasn’t unhappy that they all thought I was a lesbian, but what? It took a few hours to sort out why the department suddenly thought I was interested in sexy time with women. I guess they never figured out that I had two roommates so the female dancer and the person I was dating weren’t actually the same human.

The dancer girl roomie and I laughed a bit and let them keep on whispering until they were smart enough to figure out that I wasn’t engaged to her all on their own. Why waste my time fighting a rumor that wasn’t even offensive? Though they did seem to be a lot more open to my living with a guy I wasn’t married to once they had thought I was a lesbian for a while. Apparently shacking up is less troublesome than being gay. Who knew?

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