I don’t drive very often. It’s not that I can’t drive. I can. I have a license and everything. But my husband really loves to drive, and traffic makes me angry. So I usually avoid it.
Well, today is my nephew’s birthday! He’s adorable, and I love him. So to avoid being the worst aunt ever, I decided to venture to the post office to priority mail his present to him so it would be there in time for his birthday. Normally, this wouldn’t be a huge deal, but I had to go between shows, during peak season, on a freakin’ island. And a beautiful island at that. With lots or tourist and not too many roads.
I managed to make it to the post office, only needing to call my husband once for directions. But then…. But then. On the way back, traffic got worse. So much worse. I had to phone my mother so she could listen to me rail at the traffic around me. I spent twelve minutes, TWELVE MINUTES, thirty feet from the turn off I needed! And no one would move! We sat there! I could have walked back to the theatre faster, but I think there’s a law against abandoning a vehicle in the road, and I was in company car anyway! Gah!
I finally got on the back road that would take me almost to the theatre. It’s only one right hand turn and ten feet from the entrance to the theatre. But there was a stooge in front of me who wanted to turn left! Five minutes! Five freakin’ minutes I had to wait behind this guy who wouldn’t go!
He wouldn’t just nose out a little, just be the tiniest bit aggressive, and get out of my way! I asked my mother if I could drive over the ten feet of grass to get to the freakin’ theatre, but apparently that’s illegal, too!
And the “man” wouldn’t move! It took someone in the stagnant line of traffic we were trying to get into honking at the wimp in front of me to make him move!
Why?!! Why is it that hard to ten feet?!
Needles to say, I am the best aunt in the freakin’ world, and I am never driving on this island again. At least for a week! I just won’t! Driving is the freakin’ worst!
You can’t make me!