What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Dumpster Diving in Alaska October 5, 2015

Hi. Chris here again. Megan wanted me to talk to you all today about the up and coming sport of dumpster diving. Now, I know that dumpster diving isn’t exactly new, but it’s coming back into fashion.

I say this because while we were working in Alaska this summer, one of my friends, slightly foolishly, tossed a bag into the trash that had been left on the table by a customer. The bag did only appear to have rocks in it (there was an assay station on our property where kids and kids-at-heart could “mine” for minerals from a purchased bag of dirt for only $4.99). Well, the mother of the child who left behind the bag of rocks came back to the restaurant in a panic because her daughter had left a bag that had gold earrings in it.

My friend looked a little taken aback. He told the lady that he had searched the bag and only found rocks, so he tossed it. She swore that the earrings were in there. The problem was, the trash had already been taken to the dumpster. She didn’t care. She was going to brave the dumpster and rescue her daughter’s earrings.

I had to explain to her that, no. She could not be allowed to go into the dumpster because if something were to happen to her, she wouldn’t be covered by any kind of insurance. I then explained to her that I would be covered, so I would go into the dumpster for her. And I did.

I jumped my happy little butt into the filth of the night’s leftovers with nothing but my costume and some latex gloves as armor. I dug through the refuse for about five minutes until I found what appeared to be her bag. I tossed it out to my companion (my friend who had tossed the bag away in the first place) who was outside the dumpster. We sifted through the bag but couldn’t find any earrings. She said once again that she would gladly help us look. I again politely declined her offer.

At around that time, she received a phone call from her daughter. The earrings had been in her purse the whole time…

I was ready to scream. But instead, I accepted the woman’s thanks and went back inside.

And that’s the story of when I went dumpster diving and came out with nothing to show for it but some interesting new smells and very dirty shoes.


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