In the theatre where I am currently working we have a real bearskin decorating the wall. I’m in Alaska, so I promise Mr. Dead Bear makes sense. As I was staring at MDB the other day, I got to wondering. What if there was a bear Zombie Apocalypse? What if all the bears in Denali suddenly became zombies and began to eat each other. Not that big bears won’t eat each other now, but what if the bears began to hunt like zombies?
Now it’s clearly too late to save MDB. He’s been dead too long even to become a zombie, and he has a bit of baked beans stuck in his fur. But if another live bear was hiding from all the dead zombie bears in the theatre, when suddenly he was surrounded by hoards of Zombie bears hungry for his flesh, would the bear in mortal danger be able to pull MBD down off the wall and wear him like a dead bear cape and escape Walking Dead style?
Naturally, I asked my castmates what they thought about MBD saving an innocent cub from the Bear-Pocalypse thereby making MBD’s death a worthy one. The consensus was unanimous. MBD died in vain. He smells too much like cleaner, humans, and baked beans to be mistaken for a zombie. The zombie bears would be able to sniff through the bear-in-bear’s clothing routine in a minute, and the live bear wearing MBD would be eaten. MBD has no more use than a biology class skeleton when zombies attack.
Ah well. We’ll just have to come up with a new plan to save the survivors of the Bear-Pocalypse and take comfort in the fact that MBD doesn’t know he’s useless.
In other news, as Chris posted in his blog post a few days ago, there is a Goodreads giveaway of The Siren’s Realm, book two in The Tethering Series, which will be going on for the next week. You can enter by clicking here. Please enter and share!
Not completely useless. He does provide the waft of baked-beans…
I wonder if zombie bears like baked beans. Things to consider…