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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Chris’s Corner of Conundrums and Comprehension – Episode Two: A Bulgarian in Alaska May 23, 2015

Filed under: Chris's Corner — meganorussell @ 3:31 pm
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Megan and I are spending our third consecutive summer in Denali Park, Alaska, which is quite possibly the most addictively beautiful place I have ever visited. Hence why we keep coming back.

A couple of the bigger corporations that operate in and around Denali hire their staff from around the world, namely from Bulgaria. I love being around people from different parts of the globe. I get to learn about their culture and a few choice phrases, not all of which would necessarily be proper in polite company, but still, it’s a wonderful life experience.

The other night, I got to hear my first Bulgarian joke. One of my Bulgarian colleagues was sitting with my other coworkers and me around a fire. He got to have his first s’more, and he heard many jokes from us. One of my coworkers asked if he had any jokes that he would like to share. He said that he did have one, but it might not translate well. Of course, we all said that we wanted to hear it. And here it is, to the best of my remembrance:

A doctor was in the nursery in a hospital checking on the health of the newborn babies. One baby, who was not yet a full day old, said to the doctor, “Doctor, we should have a game of chess.”

The doctor looked at the baby and said, “But you are only a baby. Fine. I will play chess with you and will no doubt win.”

In three moves, the doctor was checkmated.

“But how can this be? You are only a newborn baby.” The doctor thought for a moment. This baby was clearly too intelligent. He would grow to be a genius intent on evil. The doctor performed a surgery to remove 25% of the baby’s brain.

The next day, the doctor visited the nursery again. The same baby said, “Doctor, we should have a game of chess.”

The doctor, a little dismayed that the baby could still speak, consented, knowing that the baby was now far less intelligent.

The doctor was checkmated in six moves this time. Knowing what must be done, the doctor performed another surgery to remove 50% of the brain (whether this was of the remainder or the beginning total, the Bulgarian didn’t translate).

The next day, the doctor once again visited the nursery, making it a point to go straight to the chess-playing baby.

The baby said, “Doctor, we should have a game of chess.” Unbelieving that the baby could still talk, but knowing that he couldn’t possibly beat him in chess with so little brains left, he consented to another game.

Again, the baby beat him, this time checkmating him in only eight moves.

The doctor was outraged and performed another surgery to remove the entirety of the remainder of the baby’s brain.

The next day, the doctor visited the nursery and the chess baby for a fourth time. The baby looked up at the doctor and said, “Doctor, we should fight.”

And thus ends the joke. It was so refreshing to hear a joke that’s all about intellect and how it’s not prized as much as it should be. No go back and read this all again with a Bulgarian accent. You’re welcome.

In other news: You can enter a Goodreads giveaway to win book two in The Tethering SeriesThe Siren’s Realm. Enter now through June 1st for a chance to win!

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