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How Many Actors Can You Fit In A Closet? May 18, 2015

Filed under: Hi-Ho the Glamorous Life — meganorussell @ 8:30 pm
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How many actors can you fit in a closet?

No, really. This is an actual question. And I don’t mean the metaphorical hiding one’s sexuality closet. How many actors can you fit in an actual closet?

This has recently become a very important question in my life. The theatre I’m working at for the summer, which I love dearly, has recently transitioned to a new space. They brought the costumes, the quilts, and the spirit, but they didn’t bring the dressing room space.

There is a little closet, and that is where we all have to change. I’d say it’s roughly about 3×9, and there are five-to-seven actors that need to dress for every show.

Doing your makeup or hair in the dressing closet is an absolute “no.” And trying to change into dance tights is a precarious proposition at best. If you want to put on your show shoes, you’ll have to go out into the audience, since there is nowhere to sit in the closet but on the floor, and if you do sit on the floor, you take up 50% of the available space.

You could dress in the audience, but as it’s a dinner theatre, that means that your butt cheeks are out in full view of not only your fellow actors but the kitchen staff as well.

I live on the theatre property, but if I dressed before work, I would be running around outside the theatre with my boobs up to my chin, putting unnecessary wear on my costume and having to eat dinner in it, which risks stains. Then there is always the risk of rain or other inclement weather and the fact that I would have to bring my mic home with me every night since it gets buried so far down in my panties I would have to take my costume back off to put the mic on as soon as I got to the theatre if I tried to dress without it.

So, with all those options ruled out, the question again becomes: How many actors can you fit in a closet?

The answer: as many as corporate says can.

#FacePalm

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