What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Bridal Bailout May 4, 2015

I’m back! Sorry for the missed post on Saturday. Chris and I just got back to Alaska, where we’ll be working again for the summer. It was a whirlwind of a few days, and I didn’t have the chance to post this. But I now present to you: What Should Have Been Saturday’s Post.

We just closed a production of Funny Girl. As I was not in fact playing the Funny Girl, Ms. Fanny Brice, I spent my show running around changing costumes, and every once in a while I danced a few steps.

One of the numbers that I was in was “Beautiful Bride.” I tip walked in a huge costume and looked pretty. It was great.

photo 1

But those hip baskets were pretty heavy, and the giant headpiece was a beast as well. But since it was just walking, it wasn’t too bad to balance the extra thirty pounds of weight I had just added to my body.

A few days ago, I was doing the bride number, and everything seemed fine. Until I went up onto the tiny little cake platform. It was two steps high, and the surface I had to stand on was barely large enough to fit both my feet. Well, I was “dancing” on my little platform, and suddenly one of my feet had lost the ground. Normally, I would have just put my lost left foot back onto the platform and continued on with life. But that extra thirty pounds of weight was just too much for me. I began to teeter sideways!

Luckily, there was a mirror next to me, so I grabbed the top of the mirror. And then I was one foot on the platform, one foot in the air, and one hand on the mirror. But the mirror was on wheels, and it started rolling away! So I leaned farther to the left. But that lean was too much for my hip baskets! The Velcro came undone!

I caught the baskets in one hand, while the other held on to the rolling away mirror, with one foot on the platform, and one foot in the air! I then slowly sank down the two steps worth of height to have one foot on the floor and one on the platform with the baskets in my hands. I stood up, laughing and holding my baskets. The dance captain was waltzing in front of me and turned to see me laughing with half my costume. So, I did the only thing I could think of. I tossed the baskets behind me and walked up to my final pose, shaking with laughter, tears streaming from my face.

It took me two full eight counts to fall, and the worst part: no one in the cast even saw it happen! A moment of comedic genius, and it went unappreciated. Except by you. Please appreciate my I Love Lucy impression.

photo 2


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