What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Voices From My Head March 11, 2015

I hate the sound of my speaking voice. I suppose that’s not too uncommon, and it’s not as though there is really anything wrong with the way I speak. I just hate listening to it, which is a problem if you’re an actor and have to submit video auditions. Lucky for me, I have a husband who is willing to edit my videos for me. But still, if I can hear my voice in onstage monitors, it freaks me out. I don’t sound like Fran Drescher or anything, it’s more like a childlike fascinated revulsion of is that really me?

I can usually muddle through, making my husband edit videos and making sure I never hear my own voice mail message, but this week I had to record an excerpt of The Tethering for a podcast. 10,000 words of me reading into a microphone.

Speaking clearly, pacing, and characterization are fine. It’s how I pay my bills. But my husband making me listen to a clip of myself to be sure I liked the balance was terrible! It was me speaking the words I’d written to myself! Why would I want to listen to that? Aside from quite possibly being the most narcissistic thing I have ever done in my life, it was just plain creepy!

But I muscled through! I recorded my 10,000 words and even submitted them! I survived!

And now other people will listen to me speak the words I wrote. Still really weird to me. But Author Winning! Yay me!

Please enjoy this accidental clip of me speaking lots of lines of The Tethering at once!


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