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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Squabble in the Seats December 30, 2014

I’m a fairly easy going person. Okay, maybe not, but I’m usually good at ignoring people who piss me off. But we all have our limits.

Christmas Day, my husband and I went to see an evening showing of Into the Woods. I was so excited. It was a little strange when we got to the theatre and there were more than fifteen police cars parked out front. Naturally, I assumed either I was at one of the theatres that was showing The Interview, or the cops were having a nice Christmas party inside.

There was an insane line to buy tickets, filled with teenagers all arguing about what movie they wanted to see. And you had to get in a line to get to the line, but since it is a huge theatre, I figured that was normal for a holiday. My husband went in to get snacks while I waited for tickets. Some friends gave me money to buy their tickets so they wouldn’t take up more space between the clogged ropes. It was all fine… until I bought the tickets and tried to walk to my friends to give them their stubs.

Fifty kids broke through the barrier and ran for the theatre without tickets. They were charging at me, and I had no way out! I don’t do well in swarms, and I panicked. I couldn’t step to the side. There was no way out! Until my friend’s brother, who is very large and scary looking, shouted at the kids and pulled me out of the mob!

Fine. That was fine. We survived, and when we got to our theatre, it was only half full… of rude, talking teenagers. Some of the other folks of the grownup persuasion intermittently shouted at the teens to be quiet. The teens cursed back. And then a police officer in full uniform came in and stood at the front of the theatre, glaring at the children. They quieted down for a minute, and I thought that would be the end of it.

Then the cop left, and the stupid kids got worse than ever.

I very politely snuck up to the noisiest group and said to the one girl who made eye contact, “I’m sorry, I’m having trouble hearing the movie, would you mind quieting down?” The girl said it was mostly the people standing down by the door but that they would be quiet.

As I went down to the door to ask those people to be quiet, one of the girl’s friends said, “I’ll find you in a dark corner and beat the shit out of you,” loudly enough for my husband to hear. So, he stood up and gave the kids his puffed up I’ll kill you all stare.

I went down to the door and asked those kids if they wouldn’t mind talking somewhere else if they didn’t want to watch the movie as some of us had been really excited about the film and were having trouble hearing.

They left, and naively, I again thought the trouble was over. But the evil teens started being loud again. The cops came and left. Some of the grownup types yelled at the kids. Someone was playing with a laser pointer on the screen. And finally, I think the laser pointer scared the cops, the police came back and escorted a group out of the theatre and left two officers stationed at the front for the rest of the movie.

I thanked the officers for being there on Christmas on my way out, and vowed never to go to that theatre on Christmas again.

I have no idea how parents allow their children to think that sort of behavior is appropriate. I have no idea why theatre management allows it to get so bad the police have to escort people out. And I have no idea if I liked the Into the Woods movie or not.

I was distracted by hooligans!

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3 Responses to “The Squabble in the Seats”

  1. bizigal Says:

    Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think parents would allow that if they knew their kidlet was involved. It seems like it is the actions of one and peer pressure kicks in. Unfortunate, but true…I just wish these kids could see themselves in action!


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