What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Ice Not Included December 27, 2014

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! I most certainly did. Since my husband loves skating, and I enjoy seeing if I can make it around the rink once without holding his hand, we like to try and skate wherever we are each holiday season. It’s a lot easier to find an ice rink in New York than it is in Florida, but we decided to try anyway. In my search for holiday wonderment, I found a little rink right across from one of our favorite restaurants! It’s about a two hour drive, but there was a big lights display in that direction as well. So we decided to make the drive.

Before heading to dinner, we went to check out the ice rink. It was tiny. Teeny Tiny. My-master-bedroom-in-cast-housing-is-bigger-than-that-ice-rink kind of tiny. And the ice looked very strange. It had lines down it, and it didn’t have the normal ice shimmer. Finally, my husband asked the attendant what the rink was made of.

The woman answered, “The cheapest plastic known to man. And these skates don’t do nothing. We file them down so they’re not sharp enough for the kids to hurt each other, but you can’t skate on plastic. People come over here from the bars, and they all think they can skate on this. I tell them the best you’re gonna do is to balance, but they all say  Oh no, I skated in college.  So I sell them the tickets to skate and laugh when they bust their butts on the plastic ice. We had real ice one year, but it cost $25 a kid, and the parents all hated it. Florida people don’t want to pay for anything. All they want is free, so now we charge them $6 to have kids fall on plastic.”


Naturally, we decided not to skate but swung back by later when there were other people trying their hands, and skates, at the plastic rink. The few kids that could fit on the rink were falling on their butts while their parents stood next to them in flip flops trying to hold them up. Not one of those kids could skate a foot let alone around the tiny rink.

And in the spirit of Christmas, I laughed and laughed and laughed.


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