What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Fish Beffudlement November 8, 2014

Filed under: Animal Antics — meganorussell @ 10:42 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

When I was little, I wanted a fish. I wanted to name it and watch it swim and love it forever. So I asked my dad for a fish. He bought me a tank with a really cool bubbler, and I spent hours watching the bubbles rise. Bubbles are fascinating when you’re little. Or, if you’re me, when you’re an adult, too, but we won’t talk about that.

After a year or so of watching the bubbles rise, I realized there were no actual fish in the tank. I went to my father again and asked for a fish. We went to the store and came home with a really pretty blue fish. He drifted lazily though the water. I would talk to him, he would drift. I would ask to feed him, my father would say it had already been done.

When I was finally big enough to reach into the tank, or rather to figure out I could move a chair and get to the top of the tank, I decided the time had come for me to pet the fish. I reached into the tank, prepared to have to lull my fish into letting me touch him, but he just kept floating along. I very gently cupped him in my hand and realized immediately that he was rubber. I had spent years talking to a rubber fish.

Apparently our water wasn’t the right PH. My father was afraid a real fish would die, so he just bought a rubber one. When I came to grips with the fact that my fish was rubber, I asked for more rubber friends to keep him company. Well played, father. Well played.


One Response to “The Fish Beffudlement”

  1. At least you were spared the traumatic death of Fred, beloved goldfish Fred. We tried EVERYTHING.

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