For the past year, I’ve been saying I wanted to do a show with sequins and tap shoes, and by George have I found one. After seven days of rehearsal, we are about to leap into tech week for Crazy for You, a wonderful show with mistaken identities, Gershwin music, and above all, showgirls.
I’ve done a few shows before where I’ve been a “showgirl.” The Producers is a great example. But I’ve never done a show like this. I have head dresses and a backpack. And no, I don’t mean a school bag. I mean a giant costume piece so large it has to be attached to me by shoulder straps. It’s all very… Vegas.
I’ve always been moderately tempted to go to Vegas and try to be a showgirl. It is, after all, on my bucket list to do a show with pasties. But honestly, I’ve already had enough wardrobe malfunctions in my life, and giving me a bra top with beaded boobies and a giant backpack is just asking me to be the next Janet Jackson.
I don’t know if I would actually want to be a Vegas showgirl. I like Vegas, but I don’t think I would like living there. And then there’s the whole glamorous image. I play on mountains in the mud. Looking perfect really isn’t my strong suit. So I think I’ll stick to musical theatre showgirl, where the high b I have to sing is as important as my fake eyelashes, and I spend more time tap dancing than tipping. For those of you not familiar with the term, tipping is walking sexily in heels and a gorgeous costume while trying not to look perverted or fall into the pit and die.
We don’t actually tap dance in the crazy cool bra tops, but still I have to wonder, in the fourteen weeks I’ll be doing this show, taking into account my accident proneness and ability to inadvertently cause hilarity and mayhem, what are the odds that I’m going to slip a nip onstage?
I’m also riding a swinging pickaxe, tap dancing on corrugated metal, and being a human bass (the instrument, not the fish). So, stay tuned. I think this is going to be a crazy ride.