Lately, I’ve seen a bunch of articles circling the Book of Face all about how the concept of soul mates is ruining modern dating and marriage.
As a disclaimer, I should probably remind you that my dating experience is limited and my relationship advice disastrous, usually involving instant marriage or chopping of genitals.
I do see the problem in waiting for one person who is Prince Charming. A man who is rich, handsome, brilliant, and happens to own a horse. And of course, all of these fine qualities haven’t turned him into a megalomaniac. I mean, if there were millions of men running around who met those qualifications, then sure, spending your life waiting to be swept off onto horseback by a man with perfect hair would absolutely be a reasonable proposition.
But with the severe lack of horseback riding millionaires, perhaps we need to focus not on the standard set by Disney, but on the real life soul mate.
And the truth is your soul mate is not the one who is perfect for you in every way. You soul mate is the one who challenges you to be better, not the one who makes you comfortable as you are.
I’m sure there are some people out there whose dream job is to sit in a climate-controlled environment and do easy things that require no effort, thought, or consideration all day. But for most people I know, their dream jobs are challenging. And the challenge makes it exciting. Finding a way to do something better. Learning a new way to make things work, facing new challenges every day. That’s what makes a job rewarding. And marriage is a full time job. It takes time and commitment to make a marriage work.
Your soul mate isn’t the person who is exactly everything you want them to be. If they are already Mary Poppins, then what’s the point? To revel in their perfect shadow every day? How will you learn or grow from stagnate perfection?
Your soul mate is your perfect partner in the business of marriage. The one who loves you, warts and all. The one who will push you to be better, to try harder, and to find the next adventure together. Your soul mate is the one who will help you become the best you you can be. And the best part is: you get to help them, too.
So, I suppose in a way, I agree with the plethora of articles. Stop looking for perfect. Perfect is boring. Start looking for the one who challenges you. You can help each other grow into the perfect fit.
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