Once upon a time a long time ago in a far away land called Massachusetts, my husband and I were visiting my Great Aunt. Her home was full of guests on that fateful night, so my husband and I went out to sleep on the glass screen porch. The bed was too small, so we had to split up, each sleeping on our own air mattress.
In the middle of the night, I woke up to the strangest feeling. Something was itching my stomach and then my side. I reached under the covers and grabbed a spider! I tossed it against the wall and heard it hit the glass with a satisfying smack! I settled back into sleep, assured of my victory over the eight-legged intruder. But not a minute later, I felt the itching again. I reached down to my leg and grabbed another handful of evil spider doom! I tossed this spider aside with his fellow, hearing the smack on the glass that I hoped meant his death!
I was a spider warrior, and there was only one thing left to do. Wake up my husband, turn on the lights, strip the beds, and make him switch with me. After all, there are only so many spiders in your sheets a girl can be asked to deal with bravely in one night.