What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Roommate Throwdown June 30, 2014

Filed under: Tales of Humanity's Imperfections — meganorussell @ 8:30 pm
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I am very used to having roommates.  I think in my adult life, I have lived with well over one hundred roomies. Some were great, and some were awful. Last week, we set up a guerilla style studio in my bedroom to film my Kickstarter video for The Tethering pre-orders. There was a green screen and a sound boom involved. It was awesome! Some of our roommates made a bit of noise during the recording, and the director of my video stuck his head out the door and started a bunch of sentences that really meant, “Could you be quiet for a bit?” though he never actually got to that point.

My roomies were lovely and let us finish the recording process with no background noise. Thank guys! My current house mates are great, but this has not always been the case. Here in Alaska, we lived in another building before they moved our entire cast to the place where we live now. And the people who lived above us were horrible. They liked to get very drunk/high at four in the morning and wake me up. I find this behavior to be unacceptable. Please enjoy my witty Facebook statuses about how much they sucked.


Megan Orlowski-Russell

May 18

Dear Butt faces who live above me,
4:30 am is not in fact social hour. It is sleepy hour. I wish to kick you in the shins.


Megan Orlowski-Russell

May 20

Dear noisy girl from upstairs,
Apologizing for your rudeness by suggesting that we move is not in fact an appropriate response to your inability to behave like an adult. I will not be driven from my room because you do not understand responsible alcohol consumption. “We like to get wasted like once a week,” is not a excuse for being a butt hole. There are provided places to be noisy. Please use them. And prepare yourself for disappointment, I’m not running away.


A few days after the rude butts suggested we move, they were noisy again. I put on my big girl bathrobe and  went upstairs to have it out with them. Rude face one opened the door, and I was hit in the face with pot stink. Please keep in mind that having marijuana in your room or in your urine sample is a fireable offense where we are and will get you a one way ticket out of Alaska at your expense.

She gave me a snarky smile and asked what the problem was.

I said, “It’s late. It’s past quiet hours, and you need to be quiet. I don’t care if you go to the rec room. I don’t care if you go to the beach. But don’t have your party here. I have the cell number for the head of security, and I will call him. But if I do, everyone of you will be fired, and I don’t want that to happen.”

Rude face one said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re just drinking.”

I said, “I’m not an idiot, I can smell it. So be quiet now! And by the way, I suggest you find another room to move to, because we’re not moving.”

We got moved into another house the next week. But as it’s nicer, closer to work, and has cable, I’ll still take it as a win.


2 Responses to “Roommate Throwdown”

  1. Hamilton Says:

    Haha! This is so great. 😀

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