What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

I Have Food Allergies May 28, 2014

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

I have food allergies. Not like I sniffed a peanut and now I might die, but still I have them. Unfortunately, the number of food allergies that I have makes finding food I can actually eat rather difficult. And though I make light of it, sometimes it really sucks.

If you’re allergic to mustard, salad dressing and barbeque sauce become a nightmare. Having to ask a waiter to go to the kitchen to make sure you can eat the dressing on the salad you want to order is ridiculously time consuming for you and for them. Forget deviled eggs and fancy hot dogs. Mustard, like love, is all around.

Then there’s fish. I’m not allergic to shrimp and other shell fish, just all the fish that people try to feed you on a daily basis. Like tuna and salmon. Try living in Alaska when you can’t eat salmon. That’s like fifty percent of any menu.

But the absolute worst is being allergic to wheat. I cheat on wheat sometimes. It just makes me a little red and itchy, and sometimes the cookie is worth it. But I can’t eat it before wearing a costume that is specifically meant to accentuate my boobies. Or as a daily part of my nutrition. Some people don’t understand that. First, they freak out thinking I have celiac and they might accidently murder me. Then they think I’m on a gluten free diet. I can eat gluten, just not wheat. But people don’t understand that. So I have to fight to get food I can healthily eat. I don’t want to get in the middle of the “is gluten intolerance a real thing” debate, but it has made my life more difficult.

I know there are all sorts of articles about waiters and chefs being snarky about people calling dietary choices allergies so they can get specially made meals at no extra charge. But as someone with an array of allergies who is trying to eat company provided meals and ending up hungry, be nice to the people who can’t eat what you’re offering. We’re probably hungry and just want a well balanced non-hive inducing meal.


2 Responses to “I Have Food Allergies”

  1. I totally understand! Let me know if you need an emergency package from trader joes

  2. idiotprufs Says:

    Red dye. I once a had a bad reaction from pink lemonade because my brain rationed that pink wasn’t red. It was wrong.

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