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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

I Feel Pretty November 9, 2013

Filed under: Hi-Ho the Glamorous Life — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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As a female performer, it is usually my job to look pretty. Sometimes I stand there and look pretty. Sometimes I sing really high while looking pretty. Sometimes I kick my face and look pretty. There have been a few times when I wasn’t supposed to be pretty (being Annelle in Steel Magnolias was one of those rare moments), but on the whole, I am supposed to be pretty.

 

I spend more time putting on makeup in front of mirrors than is probably healthy. Now if I see myself without fake eyelashes and Colorstay lip color, I feel like I have no face at all. Please don’t think I wear makeup all the time. I don’t. I just don’t look at myself.

 

But with all this time layering on shimmer powder and blush, I am still incapable of taking a pretty picture while performing. I’ve been told I look pretty on stage, and I still get paid. So, I’m assuming I don’t look too heinous. But every time they take publicity photos during the show, I end up looking like a beached whale desperately trying to smile while wearing painted on red lips and a pretty wig.

 

I worked at a theatre for more than ten different productions. This means I did roughly five-hundred performances. That breaks down to about two-hundred and fifty hours sitting in front of a mirror doing makeup. Let’s ignore how horrible that amount of time sounds for now. With two-hundred and fifty hours of getting pretty, there was not one good picture of me performing. I know this for a fact.

 

I Feel Pretty 1

My husband looks prettier than I do.

They were putting up pictures of all the company members from past shows. They sorted through thousands of photographs of me, and not a single one was usable. After hours of searching, they finally found a picture of me signing autographs for kids after a children’s show. I was the only person with a non-performance photo. Please enjoy this small taste of my ugly show face which was printed and mailed to patrons to tell them I would be returning for another show.

 

While part of me hopes that no one recognized me from the picture, the other part thinks, “Well, at least they know what they’re getting.” At the very least, I hope I didn’t scare anyone away.

 

And please enjoy this other pretty show face gem.

I Feel Pretty 2

 

It’s a good thing I have good self-esteem.

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3 Responses to “I Feel Pretty”

  1. Being photogenic and being pretty are not the same thing. I suspect you’re the latter, and not the former. It’s something to do with the way the camera puts on weight and shadows.

    This is discouraging, though, because I’m about to have someone take a headshot to represent me on my book covers for all eternity (I’m not getting any younger, and this seems to be the limit of the weightloss, at least until daughter gets out of college and gets a job, and the stress diminishes – somewhat).

    Enjoy being young, healthy, active, fit, and a performer – and pretty. And go find yourself a photographer who will do a photo of you that is unmistakably you, and airbrushed or whatever – a glamour shot. If you don’t like it, don’t pay.

  2. Mom Says:

    I think you are always pretty. And I am totally unbiased.
    Love,
    Mom


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