I stopped eating pork the day I saw the movie Babe. When that baby pig called for his mother as she was taken away to be slaughtered, I lost it. I’m tearing up a little now just writing about it. So I told my family no more pig! No pork chops, no bacon, and no Bacos because it sounded too much like the offensive bacon.
This anti-pig kick went on for years. And yes, I did eat cows, but cows are evil. And I did eat chickens, but chickens are stupid and can’t even figure out how to cross the road… stupid chickens. But pigs are smart and kind and loving. Pigs can do tricks and cuddle. Pigs are the best!
As I said, this went on for years. Many, many years. I was mocked and tempted by ribs, but I stayed strong. No baby pig would be separated from its mother by me! Power to the piggies! And then one day in an IHop, my husband turned into an evil temptress. He begged me to just smell the bacon. It smelled really good. So he asked me to lick the bacon, and that was really good. So he told me to bite the bacon, and I ate six pieces. I called my best friend from college and told her that bacon was the best thing ever. She said, “yes, dear” and laughed. And so began my love affair with bacon. As I sit here eating bacon that my husband has made, I do feel a little regret about Babe’s mother. But it tastes so good I just can’t care.
Right now I’m in Italy enjoying prosciutto, which is like bacon. Even Italian pigs can’t escape my hunger. Please pass on and share with all your piggy-eating friends, and I’ll express my gratitude for your share-i-tude when I get back!