lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Softballistophobia August 3, 2013

Filed under: Starting Off Strange — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

The house I grew up in was right next to the town playing field. Not that I live in a town. We had too few people for that. But a group of hamlets got together to build a dump, town hall, playing field, and fire department. The hamlet I lived in was lucky enough to get all four.

Since I lived next door to the playing field, my mother decided one year that my sister and I should go out for the softball team. I think she secretly hated me. I was confident going into the softball audition that I would not get cast in the team as I could not throw, catch, or hit a ball. But where I live all little girls are taken onto the softball team. Everybody plays! Isn’t that just the sweetest thing you’ve ever heard? I even made it onto the team for the athletic kids that was actually expected to win games. My sister could hit a ball, and they just couldn’t dream of separating sisters. It was torment for a kid who was terrified of having things thrown at her.

One of the coaches told me that when I was at bat if I stayed really low, I would do better. Better to me meant not getting smashed in the face with a softball. So, I crouched as low as I could wrapping my elbows around my knees, turned my head away from the pitcher, and closed my eyes. Somehow those stupid pitchers hit me with the ball every time! And then I had to go stand on a base and run. And people actually thought I would throw myself in the dirt to get to the next little base. Crazy people! I don’t know what position I played. Something where I was surrounded by grass. I did hit a ball once in practice. But the coach was holding my arms from behind, so I don’t know if that counts. The only upside was that since I was on the good team we won every game and got to eat lots of ice cream. The suffering that took place on that field was not worth ice cream, not even rainbow sherbet.

Eventually the coach had mercy on me and recommended that my mother remove me from the team. My mother felt so bad about pulling me off the team she still bought me ice cream every time they won. My sister won most improved player.

 

And I have big news! I have a publishing contract! My first Young Adult Fantasy novel will be published by Entranced Publishing! More details will come as I get them!

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10 Responses to “Softballistophobia”

  1. BAMHappy Says:

    Hilarious! Good stuff.

  2. ABE Says:

    Congratulations on the contract – I hope the process is a dream come true.

  3. Congratulations on the publishing deal!

  4. ksbeth Says:

    so, you will not be a mlb player, but a successful writer – congrats! beth

  5. ssoldjasper Says:

    The next step up for my small town was to build a cross street so we could have a center of town.
    P.S. A grounder was an automatic home run.

  6. strawberryquicksand Says:

    Hahahahahahah ohhhhh dear. When I was a kid, the school I went to had about 50 kids from grades 1 thru 7 (the entire school) so as a girl, regardless of my sports ability, I had no choice, I was on the netball team. I was put in the position of goal keeper, where I could inflict as little damage to myself and the rest of the team as possible. I truly don’t think I ever saved even one goal. I hated it so much. I was never a sporty kid. In fact, I remember one P.E. lesson at school where we were on the oval for whatever bloody sport it was, and I was in the furtherst corner away from everyone that I could be, sitting on the ground (while fielding) and looking for four leaved clovers. Anyway, the ball came screaming towards me and landed right near me. All my teammates were screaming at me to get the ball and throw it to them. So I clambered to my feet and lumbered over to the ball, snatching it up and pegging it towards them…. only to hit the bloody football goalpost. Now, I swear I could not have hit that thing deliberately if I had taken twenty attempts. Heck, at least you got ice cream! lol p.s. congrats on the book thing!

  7. mfuller17 Says:

    I can seriously identify. I am thoroughly convinced the movie “Bench Warmers” was based on me.

  8. Nathan Says:

    Congrat on the publishing contract!


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