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What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Anything but Eggplant! July 31, 2013

Filed under: Starting Off Strange — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
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I hate eggplant. I don’t actually know what it tastes like, but I hate it.

One year in Elementary School my mother signed me up for the summer garden program. We all showed up a few times a week and worked in the vegetable garden one of the teachers had started in the school courtyard. I know this would seem like a really good program for inner city kids, but lots of my classmates lived on farms. So, I really don’t know what the purpose of the program was. But still, I would go and plant and water and weed. Occasionally there were little lessons on lifting plants by the leaves and photosynthesis, but really we just played in the dirt.

The end of the summer came around, and our garden bloomed. We all got to pick out of the hat to choose what plant we would get to take home. I wanted the watermelon more than anything. More than a damn puppy I wanted that watermelon. Or at least a strawberry, or tomato, you know something really cool. But when I pulled my slip out of the hat I got an eggplant.

I was devastated. It was an old people vegetable! It was lame! That theory was only confirmed when my parents were super excited about the stupid purple thing I brought home. My father cooked it and they sat around talking about how good it was and how we should eat the devil’s food more often.  I refused to eat the eggplant. That plant that in no way looked like an egg. And to this day I still refuse to eat it. I will chose iceberg lettuce over eggplant parm any day. I don’t care how little nutritional content iceberg has. Eggplant destroyed my childhood dreams, and that is a slight that cannot be forgiven.

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11 Responses to “Anything but Eggplant!”

  1. But eggplant is delicious…and you can’t hold it against the poor eggplant. Hold it against fate, or the hat or something.

  2. eggplant Parmesan is delish. Just saying 😉

  3. ABE Says:

    I just don’t like the TASTE of eggplant.

    The hubby is half Italian by blood, and grew up with the stuff, and tried to feed me Ratatouille when we first dated, so I tried it, and I hate eggplant. Still do.

    He is cooking it downstairs right now, in olive oil which is too hot and smells like olives, which he loves and I positively HATE. Yesterday he filled the house with the stink of cooking fish, and even when he cleaned up, the smell STILL permeated the house – and he left a plate on the counter with fish smell even though he partially closed the garbage bag, so plate and garbage both continued to stink until I closed the bag and put the plate in the dishwasher (which required me to have to TOUCH it) – and then every time he leaves the dishwasher door open, I get the stink of fish again, only now it’s day-old fish (which is worse, if anything can be worse than the smell of fish).

    You probably gather that I’m a pill about food. Part of it is that the CFS has an odd side effect with me: smells do not saturate. If you wear perfume near me, I will not become UNaware of it. Ever.

    So I can’t get the smells out of my head, and they give me headaches.

    We are going to have trouble: he retires in November. I have often said: two 1-bedroom apartments next to each other, or two tiny houses (Google ‘tiny houses’) parked next to each other.

    Aargh!

    Now see what you did with your eggplant?

  4. avwalters Says:

    Pity, but then there’s more for me.

  5. ssoldjasper Says:

    Which came first? The egg or the plant?


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