What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

The Great Boob Detective July 20, 2013

Filed under: Hi-Ho the Glamorous Life — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

Sometimes I lose things. Alright, I lose things all the time. I lose my hairbrush at least once a day.

When my husband and I were out on tour, I liked to go onstage and warm up before the show, get the bus kinks out, be a responsible performer, all that good stuff. Well, one day I was warming up, and for some reason my favorite necklace kept catching on my chin. I was worried about breaking the chain, so I took off the necklace and put it in the safest place I had. My bra. I finished warming up and went to change for the show, and it wasn’t until the stage manager called places that I realized I had never taken the necklace back out of my bra. I had changed bras! The necklace must have fallen on the dressing room floor!

I searched all over the dressing room, which was difficult as the dressing room was not really meant for a full company of actors. It was really more like a locker room/hallway that our wonderful wardrobe mistress had magically made into a dressing room. I went to start the show and told my husband about the missing necklace. He started searching around backstage where I had been after making a joke about the necklace being stuck under my boob. Like I’m that stupid! But I did double check anyway.

The girls in my dressing room helped me look. Our tech crew started looking backstage. The local crew pulled out their flashlights and started peering into every dark corner. Which, if you’ve ever been backstage, you’ll know that dark corners take up a lot of real estate. I texted my mother who was halfway across the country to see if she could help me find it.  She has a weird “mom sixth sense” sometimes.  I spent intermission on my hands and knees crawling everywhere I had been in the theatre, but nothing. My necklace was gone.

I asked the techs to keep an eye out during load out and got ready to cry quietly on the bus as we drove away from the theatre and left my beloved necklace behind. I started changing out of my costume and spotted something strange in the mirror. Stuck to the very bottom of my boob, curled up in a tiny ball, was my necklace. I cried I was so happy, or maybe I was laughing so hard crying was inevitable. I told everyone exactly how I had found the necklace. It was only fair to tell the fifty people who had tried to help me where it had been. At least they got a good laugh at me as payment for their help. And that is the tale of how my boob ate my necklace. Oops.


8 Responses to “The Great Boob Detective”

  1. ABE Says:

    You’re sure you’re not making this all up?

    Thanks for the belly laugh that starts the day right.

    • Very sure. It would take way to much effort to make all this up. I think it’s a combination of being an actor, traveling, having a strange family, and a low self preservation instinct. It means I’m tired and a little confused most of the time, but I have the best adventures.

  2. Kelli Says:

    Girl you are one in a million. Love it.

  3. frugoal Says:

    We have all been there! Well at least those of us with boobs!

  4. ksbeth Says:

    hilarious, and now you know how boobs have earned their rep as jewelry thieves )

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