What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Transylvanian Tragedy July 15, 2013

Filed under: Myths and Legends — meganorussell @ 8:05 am
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This story is one of many myths and legends that I have heard in my time as a performer. Though I do trust the source of the story, I was not there and therefore cannot vouch for its accuracy.

There was once a Theatre for Young Audiences production of Dracula. I don’t know who thought Dracula for kids was a good idea, but there you have it. The show started with Dracula flying from above the stage, over the audience, and through a trap door into the lighting booth at the back of the house.

One fateful morning Dracula didn’t show up for half-hour call. In fact, he was still drunk off his ass passed out in his hotel room. The Stage Manager went and woke him up and dragged him to the theatre. As they forced his incoherent body into costume and makeup, the actor kept saying, “I can’t do this!” They put him in his harness and hoisted him up ready to let him fly over the audience. “Please don’t make me do this!”Dracula pleaded.

The Stage Manager’s voice came over the sound system saying in a bad Transylvanian accent, “Welcome to today’s performance of Dracula!”

Dracula soared out over the audience screaming, “Blah, Blah, Blauuuuuuaaah!” He threw up all over the audience as he flew through the air. The lighting guys were so appalled that they forgot to open the trap door, and Dracula crashed into it head fist and was knocked out dripping puke on the horrified spectators below.

The stage Manager’s voice floated back out to the audience, “This has been today’s performance of Dracula!”

And Curtain.


3 Responses to “Transylvanian Tragedy”

  1. ssoldjasper Says:

    U sure they forgot to open the door?

  2. ABE Says:

    I don’t care if it’s apocryphal – it’s the belly laugh of the day – and I’ll never be able to forget that image.

  3. Gina Quinn Says:

    This is so horrifyingly hysterical!!! I was appalled by the flying puke image, but the smacking into the closed trap door put me over the top and I belly-laughed out loud! Truly an example of “life beyond exaggeration!”

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