What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Asian Only June 24, 2013

Filed under: Tales of Humanity's Imperfections — meganorussell @ 8:05 am
Tags: , , , , , , ,

One afternoon while I was working in Alaska I was filling in at the hostess stand at my restaurant while the hostess ate her lunch. A woman walked in with her husband, and he very nervously asked to see a menu.

After they looked at the menu for a moment the wife said in the worst, I’m-from-the-mid-west-but-I’m-pretending-that-I’m-british-and-posh accent, “No, this won’t do.”

She handed the menu back to me, and I asked, in a very professional tone that completely hid that fact that I was internally laughing at her, “Is there something specific that you’re looking for?”

“I need rice and stir fried vegetables,” she answered.

“Oh, is it a gluten thing? Because our chef would be more than happy to work with you.”

“No,” the woman shook her head. “I fundamentally only eat what Asians eat.”

I had no words for this.

“We’ll go to the Thai restaurant,” she said smiling haughtily.

“It’s not a restaurant, it’s a food truck,” I told her. “Literally, it’s a trailer and they hand you food out of the window.”

The wife looked shocked as the husband dragged her from the restaurant. “I fundamentally only eat what Asians eat.” What does that even mean? I bet that lady had a rough night in Denali. It’s a national park lady. Be grateful for hot water and sketchy wi-fi. And can someone please explain to me what “I fundamentally only eat what Asians eat” even means? I still don’t get it.


5 Responses to “Asian Only”

  1. rockettattoo Says:

    I have been doing call center work for 18 years and cannot say how grateful I am for my mute button. It at least allows me the ability to laugh, or make a come back comment in moments like these. People are special, really, really special and say the Darndest things

  2. ABE Says:

    Anyone who has ever worked serving other humans must have TONS of stories like these – thanks for writing some of them down.

    Acting must be a useful career at these times.

  3. aenriii Says:

    Was she asian? (If she was then, we don’t speak like that HAHAHA) This is hilarious. I agree with ABE that ACTING “IS” A USEFUL CAREER AT THESE TIMES. 😀

    Enjoy your day!
    – Aenri (Aah-Yen-Ree)

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