One afternoon while I was working in Alaska I was filling in at the hostess stand at my restaurant while the hostess ate her lunch. A woman walked in with her husband, and he very nervously asked to see a menu.
After they looked at the menu for a moment the wife said in the worst, I’m-from-the-mid-west-but-I’m-pretending-that-I’m-british-and-posh accent, “No, this won’t do.”
She handed the menu back to me, and I asked, in a very professional tone that completely hid that fact that I was internally laughing at her, “Is there something specific that you’re looking for?”
“I need rice and stir fried vegetables,” she answered.
“Oh, is it a gluten thing? Because our chef would be more than happy to work with you.”
“No,” the woman shook her head. “I fundamentally only eat what Asians eat.”
I had no words for this.
“We’ll go to the Thai restaurant,” she said smiling haughtily.
“It’s not a restaurant, it’s a food truck,” I told her. “Literally, it’s a trailer and they hand you food out of the window.”
The wife looked shocked as the husband dragged her from the restaurant. “I fundamentally only eat what Asians eat.” What does that even mean? I bet that lady had a rough night in Denali. It’s a national park lady. Be grateful for hot water and sketchy wi-fi. And can someone please explain to me what “I fundamentally only eat what Asians eat” even means? I still don’t get it.