In college, I had one roommate who was a whole different kind of “pretty” (you know, as in “It’s a good thing she’s pretty”). I once had to stop her from going to class in her bra. Yes it was winter, and yes she did go outside in her bra and not realize why I told her she had to come back in. She also forgot to do her dishes for a few days once, so since the sink was full of her nasty dishes she decided to drain the spaghetti on the counter and couldn’t figure out how she had burned her feet. But the best thing this poor girl ever did was buy a pair of light up flip-flops.
She had tiny feet and could wear kids’ shoes, so she bought the largest size they had in the blue and red flashing flip-flops. They made her happy, and truth be told I was a little sad that they didn’t make the same shoes in women’s size 8. But one day when we were out driving, she started freaking out. For some reason she thought we were being followed by the police. Every time we stopped the car she would start looking for the source of the red and blue flashing lights that had followed us across town.
I did eventually tell her that if she stopped tapping her feet, the police lights would stop following us. It still took her a while to realize that her shoes were in fact creating the blue and red lights. But she didn’t learn anything from that day. The next week we went to the mall, and she thought there were police lights on the escalator with us because she was once again tapping her toes. There are some people in this world who just lack the common sense that God gave lemons, and the best thing you can do is just let them enjoy their light up shoes.