What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Watermelon for Megan May 8, 2013

Filed under: What Doesn't Kill You — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , , , ,

One summer when I was home from college, my sister had her wisdom teeth removed. My mother drove her to the procedure, but after she brought my sister home she had to go to work for the afternoon. So, it was my job to sit with my puffy-faced, miserable sister.

I of course mocked her for her chipmunk cheeks, because what decent little sister wouldn’t, right? When the photoshoot of her pudge face was over, I decided to be a good little nurse and bring her a nice mushy snack. So, I cut up some of the seedless watermelon my mom had bought for the invalid. As my sister munched slowly and painfully on her melon squares, I took a nibble of my own. In seconds I knew something was horribly wrong. My throat started to itch. Breathing was suddenly a very difficult task. I had found a brand new food allergy! Panicking, I picked up the phone and called my mother. “Marum Marum, Ayiee neeed elp!” (Translation: Mom mom I need help!)

“What?” My mother asked.

“Ayiee eded atermeln caa breef!” (Translation: I ate watermelon. I can’t breath!)

“Put your sister on the phone!” my mother said, completely unable to understand me.

“Mean alnric oo moln!”  (Translation: Megan’s allergic to watermelon!)  my sister tried to say through her swollen gums.

“I can’t understand you. Put your sister on the phone!” my mother said as my sister, shaking her head, sadly passed the phone back to me.

“Tant breef!” (Translation: Can’t breathe!) I wheezed into the phone.

“What?” my mother asked, frustrated that neither of her grown children were making any sense.

My sister stumbled off the couch and into the kitchen, grabbed the bottle of Benadryl, and tossed three into my mouth. I chewed as best I could and let the nasty powder sit under my tongue.

My mom came home a few hours later to find both of us drooling and passed out on the couch. I survived, but boy do I miss watermelon.


7 Responses to “Watermelon for Megan”

  1. avwalters Says:

    Been there with peanuts and shellfish. My sympathies. My first inclination was, “What, no watermelon!” Then I realized it was classic. You always think somebody else’s allergy (ailment, restriction, whatever) is intolerable, when yours is just what you live with.

  2. Absolutely brilliant, great post, still laughing!

  3. Sounds like you have some bitter allergies. Good mother’s day post!

  4. “Mean alnric oo moln””Tant breef” OMG. This is so funny…. I don’t mean to laugh at your experience, but just the way you wrote this I can imagine your mom on the other end of the phone……

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