lifebeyondexaggeration

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Noxious Nightmare April 10, 2013

Filed under: Marriage Mayhem — meganorussell @ 10:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

My husband has nightmares once, maybe twice a year. He moans and groans and wakes me up. I promptly poke him in the face or kick him in the shins until he wakes up and resumes his nightly duty of keeping my butt warm.

One night a few years ago, I was actually awake after he went to sleep, a rare occurrence in our world. As I was creeping around the room getting ready for bed stealth style he started moaning in his sleep. He was rolling around and making an unhappy face that would put any toddler to shame.  I went over to the bed deciding to be magnanimous and wake him up gently and protect him from the scary nightmare monsters.

As I reached down to lovingly rub his shoulder to wake him, he let out the longest, loudest fart I have ever heard in my entire life! The sound that man’s bottom made far surpassed any cartoon flatulence sound effect ever created. He made a happy little “mmmmm” noise, smiled, and drifted peacefully back to sleep. I ended up on the ground in silent fits of laughter fighting the urge to wake him up just to tell him how funny his butt was. I suppose I should just be grateful that the sheets didn’t need changing.

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4 Responses to “Noxious Nightmare”

  1. Aliyaaaa Says:

    GUAHAHAHAHAAHA! That is hilarious!

  2. EagleAye Says:

    Too funny! You should be commended for not waking him up with your laughter. Good restraint there.

  3. Impower You Says:

    That’s hilarious. I remember times when I had to hold my laughter so much it rocked my whole body. I am going to share this with my sister. I have a feeling she could relate.

  4. Paul J. Stam Says:

    Loved Noxious nightmare and more than that I love your motto – What doesn’t kill you makes you stranger – I like being stranger. So Megan Elizabeth Katherine Victoria Jane Orlowski, when are we going to hear about your completely normal life. I will be following and thank you for visiting Paper, Mud and Me and liking “Give Me a Break.” – Aloha –


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