Right after my husband and I got married I worked as a clerk for the Census for about three months. It’s really not a bad job. I answered phones and entered information into the computers. Easy-peasy. The only thing that really sucked was the commute.
I know half of you will think I’m a royal whiner, but it was a 45 minute drive each way in the middle of winter in Pennsylvania, and I didn’t know how to drive on snow. Or really drive well at all. Merging is an issue for me. And I had to be at work at 7am. Which is torture for an actor. I work at night. It’s how I’m meant to live.
One fateful morning it was snowing disastrously hard when I woke up at 5am to go to work, and my loving husband refused to let me drive myself. Probably because he knew it would result in my death. So he crawled out of bed and drove me to work, which was awesome since not only did I survive the snowy commute, but I also got to sleep on the drive.
When I got to work and sat down at my desk I realized that I didn’t bring a lunch. There was nowhere in walking distance of the office to buy lunch, so if you forgot your lunch you just didn’t get to eat. I don’t do not eating. It’s dangerous to the people around me as I suffer from an extreme case of hanger (hungry anger). I texted my husband at 7:05 halfway to tears. I could not face a hungry day in the florescent-lit office. He texted back that he would bring me lunch, and to let him know what time to be there.
Just as I was reading this life saving message the phone on my desk rang, and without even thinking I picked up the phone and spoke into the receiver, “Aw, I love you.” Realizing my mistake I slammed the phone down hanging up on whatever poor unsuspecting soul I had just professed my love to. Unfortunately my boss’s desk was right next to mine, and he heard the whole thing. He looked at me with his coffee mug half way to his mouth and said, “I don’t know whether to laugh or fire you.” I answered, “Well it could really go either way.”
Thankfully he chose to laugh at me incessantly for the rest of my time at the office along with every other person who worked in my office. I was shamed and humiliated, but at least I got to eat lunch. And there are far worse things you can accidentally say to someone over the phone than I love you.
Please feel free to share you own “Oops-I-Almost-Got-Fired” stories!