When I was very little, I was obsessed with “Star Trek: The Next Generation.” Each week on new-episode-night, I would keep myself awake in bed (and usually my sister in the process). Right before the show was about to start, I would creep downstairs and whine that I couldn’t sleep. (Sorry Mom!) My Mom would let me curl up on the couch, and if I laid just right I could keep one eye open and watch the episode while pretending to be asleep. I was a very clever child. When it was over I would get carried to my bed where I would sleep peacefully for the rest of the night dreaming of going where no man has gone before.
I worshiped Jean Luc Picard. He was my hero. I wanted to be Deanna Troi. I went to a Star Trek convention in costume. And I fell in love.
In the show, the Klingon Warf has a son Alexander Rozhenko. We were about the same age when he joined the show, and it was love at first episode. He was handsome and daring. He lived in the adventurous space world I longed to join. So I made a decision: I was going to marry Alexander.
Klingon wedding ceremonies are very specific, and I wanted to impress my new in-laws. So, I begged my father to teach me Klingon. He humored me and taught me a few words, which he probably made up. I wanted a bat’leth, a traditional Klingon weapon, so I could practice. Learning a fake language was fine, but learning to spin a fake weapon was too far. It was then that my father told me the truth: Alexander was not a real Klingon. He was just a little boy in really good makeup who would now have enough money to put himself through college. I was heartbroken. My first love affair had ended in disaster. I had been deceived by my beloved Captain Picard. There was no Klingon boy to come and sweep me off my feet.
Years later, Alexander made another appearance in the later Star Trek series Deep Space Nine, but there was no longer a place in my life for interspecies love (except for maybe Pluto). They say you never forget your first love and that they become the measure for everyone else you meet. I’m very lucky to have such a wonderful husband who mended the pieces on my broken heart, even if I couldn’t get married in space.
Please share your favorite Star Trek story. Make me feel like less of a geek.