What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stranger

Microwaved Mayhem March 25, 2013

Filed under: I Meant Well — meganorussell @ 8:05 am
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I went to college in Oklahoma, which is very, very far away from my home in upstate NY. My mother flew to Oklahoma with me and spent three days running around the city making sure I had everything I needed. Minifridge, blanket, lamps, all those wonderful dormy things. I was heartbroken and sick as a dog when she had to fly home, abandoning me in a strange city. To make up for her desertion, she sent me a care package right away. She sent juice boxes, gummy bears, and a jiffy pop.

I had never used a jiffy pop before. We had them when we went camping, but my mom was always the one to put them over the fire, and at home we had an air popper. One day during the first week of school I was hungry, so I decided to make myself the jiffy pop. We didn’t have a kitchen in our dorm. The only thing we had was a communal microwave. So I went into the common room and put the jiffy pop in the microwave. But the door wouldn’t close since the handle was too long. So being brilliant I bent the handle up out of the way, closed the door, and pressed the popcorn button. I ran back to my room to get my juice box, so proud of the snack I was making all by myself! Look at me being all grown up!

When I got back to the common room, tragedy had struck. Tiny bolts of lightning were destroying my popcorn! It looked like Zeus’s revenge on the mini children of the corn. The cardboard top caught fire and the microwave started to burn. I pressed the stop/clear button, but the damage had been done. My snack was smoldering, and the microwave had been destroyed. I had to go to my terrifying RA and admit that I had ruined the microwave. She explained to me in a tone that made it very clear that I was a stupid freshman that aluminum cannot in fact be microwaved. Oops.

I hid in my dorm room as everyone on my floor complained about the smell of burning popcorn and plastic. The dorm bought a new microwave, but I never tried to microwave another jiffy pop. I had learned my lesson, grown up, and moved onto bigger and better kitchen fires.

To be continued in future posts.


4 Responses to “Microwaved Mayhem”

  1. Cindy Says:

    When I was 16, my friend and I went to Europe for a vacation, alone. We were visiting some families that my friend knew. One woman lived and worked at a camp in Switzerland but had spent a year in the US when she was younger. One of the things she had loved was Jiffy Pop so we took some to her. Unbeknownst to us, the pans had acquired holes in the flight over and subsequent travels. We were in the camp kitchen making the popcorn when butter started to leak onto the camp’s stoves. Of course the camp’s smoke alarms would have gone straight to the fire department so we were standing on every available item, fanning the alarms so they wouldn’t go off. Yes, I know that burning butter and popcorn smell well. Oh, and we successfully kept the camp owners and fire department away and in the dark about our little escapade.

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