When I was little, my big sister became obsessed with breaking a world record. She looked into everything: world’s biggest cookie, longest held breath, and finally, after weeks of defeat, she found one she thought she could break: world’s longest pee. Now, of course as the younger sister I wanted to be involved, so my job was to be the actual pee-er. Before bed she pumped me full of water, and the next day she kept passing me glass after glass. She wouldn’t let me eat anything but popcorn. I don’t know why popcorn, but it made real sense to a seven and four-year-old.
Finally, when I thought I couldn’t hold it anymore, I chugged two more glasses and she let me pee. While she ran the stopwatch I sat down on the toilet and let it go. My mother found us about half way through and couldn’t figure out what we were doing. About that time all the water and popcorn decided to make an appearance. I projectile vomited right into the linen cupboard, soaking the towels in water and regurgitated popcorn.
My mother never really understood the glory we achieved that day. The world record for the longest urination is 508 seconds according to Google. I don’t think I made it that far, but if there were a world record for four-year-old devotion to an older sibling, I think I would have won that day. Projectile popcorn and all.
Anyone else have crazy stories about trying to break a world record? I’d love to hear them!